Jersey Shore

Back when we learned that Sammi Giancola was engaged to Christian Biscardi, we have one thought:

Oh, God, no one tell Ronnie Ortiz-Magro!

Call the girls, Sammi "The Sweetheart" Giancola is going to be a bride! 

The 31-year-old former MTV star announced on Tuesday that she is engaged to Christian Biscardi. 

Sammi Sweetheart has officially found her sweetheart.

For life.

We have been spared any major news about Jen Harley and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro for about a month now.

Having just checked our archives, we haven't written about this tumultuous twosome in weeks.

Roger Mathews may be trying to make peace in public...

... but we now know he's stirring up some more antagonism in private.

Jenni Farley has issued an official response to Roger Mathews' response to her accusation of domestic abuse.

Got all that?

Jenni Farley may have felt scared and alone during her marriage to Roger Mathews, but the MTV star's cast mates are now here to pass along an important message:

She isn't actually alone.

The stars of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation are older and (marginally) wiser than they once were.

But does that make them marriage material? Pauly D and Vinny think so -- and so does MTV.

Last week, Jersey Shore fans celebrated the news that Sammi Giancola had gotten engaged to Christian Biscardi.

Sammi might not appear on the current iteration of Shore, but she'll always have a place in our hearts, largely due to the sheer quantity of Ron-pages she was forced to endure.

The Situation is making the best of an awful situation.

According to Mrs. The Situation, that is.