Dancing with the Stars

We have a winner, folks.

Or, to be more specific and to get everyone even more curious and excited, perhaps we should phrase this a little differently:

In any season of Dancing With the Stars, the final competitions tend to be highly emotional affairs.

But last night's episode was almost certainly the show's most heartbreaking to date.

For ages, Dancing With The Stars fans have wondered if Hannah Brown and Alan Bersten are dating. They'd make a very cute couple.

But as they made their stunning red carpet debut at the CMA Awards, fans were reminded repeatedly that they're just friends.

We're not even gonna try and leave readers in suspense on this one.

We're not gonna tease out the Dancing with the Stars results from Monday night in order to build suspense and/or force readers to scroll down and view more digital advertisements.

Last week, the world learned the real, sinister reason Sean Spicer is still on Dancing With The Stars despite his abysmal dancing.

Fans and judges alike are frustrated that the season has been effectively rigged when other, talented dancers have gone home.

When it was first announced that Sean Spicer would be joining Dancing With the Stars for the show's 47,000th season, the news was met with consternation by Democrats and dance competition purists alike.

Though his tenure as White House press secretary was brief, Spicer made a lot of enemies, but also managed to endear himself to MAGA loyalists through his willingness to passionately spew unmitigated bullsh-t in defense of the Big Mac Fascist.

When asked about their experiences on Dancing With the Stars, the celebrities who have battled for the mirrored disco ball usually offer some variation on the same theme.

The consensus seems to be that the competition is far more challenging than any of the participants expected it to be going in.

Dancing With the Stars aired its annual Halloween episode on Monday night, keeping up a pair of traditions in the process:

1. Each contestant dressed up in a costume.

Before we rundown Monday night's shocking outcome on Dancing with the Stars, we'd like to ask readers a question:

Are you okay? Are you in pain? Does your jaw still hurt after crashing very hard to the floor after you heard the eliminated name called  yesterday evening?

Disneyland is known as The Happiest Place on Earth.

And yet, following a Dancing With the Stars episode that took place at this resort and during which the contestant performed Disney-themed routines,  not everyone walked away with a smile on his or her face.

Last week, the Dancing With The Stars contestants were saved from a "normal" elimination after another contestant injury made that call.

This week, the competition was back on, and some of the least polished performers made real improvements to stay in the game.

Last week, it was a bit of a shock to see who went home on Dancing With The Stars.

This week, Ray Lewis had to sit out from dancing, as training had awoken an old sports injury. He has to have surgery on the tendons in his foot.

The first night of this season of Dancing With The Stars showed that Sean Spicer can't do anything right. That didn't change much on night two.

But that's not to say that there weren't some absolutely shocking twists -- most of them coming from the judges.

When the world learned on Thursday that Sarah Huckabee Sanders had been hired at Fox News, no one was particularly shocked.

After all, the Trump administration is basically the Saturday Night Live of conservative media -- sure the gig will force you to embarrass yourself from time to time, but there's a good chance the connections you make will lead to a career you can be proud of.

Sean Spicer may be known for telling lie after lie to the American people, but here is a truth that has now been confirmed by ABC:

The former White House Press Secretary will compete on Season 28 of Dancing with the Stars.

Figuratively speaking, Hannah Brown fell off the reality television horse this summer.

She wrapped up her run as The Bachelorette by dumping a fiance who had been lying to her and then got rejected by a runner-up who basically chose Gigi Hadid as his girlfriend.

Did Dancing with the Stars deliver another shocking twist to close out Season 27? 

In a season that has been filled with controversy, with fans ruling it a popularity contest as opposed to a dancing competition, there have already been some headscratchers.