Dancing with the Stars

We have a winner, folks.

Or, to be more specific and to get everyone even more curious and excited, perhaps we should phrase this a little differently:

In any season of Dancing With the Stars, the final competitions tend to be highly emotional affairs.

But last night's episode was almost certainly the show's most heartbreaking to date.

For ages, Dancing With The Stars fans have wondered if Hannah Brown and Alan Bersten are dating. They'd make a very cute couple.

But as they made their stunning red carpet debut at the CMA Awards, fans were reminded repeatedly that they're just friends.

We're not even gonna try and leave readers in suspense on this one.

We're not gonna tease out the Dancing with the Stars results from Monday night in order to build suspense and/or force readers to scroll down and view more digital advertisements.

Last week, the world learned the real, sinister reason Sean Spicer is still on Dancing With The Stars despite his abysmal dancing.

Fans and judges alike are frustrated that the season has been effectively rigged when other, talented dancers have gone home.

When it was first announced that Sean Spicer would be joining Dancing With the Stars for the show's 47,000th season, the news was met with consternation by Democrats and dance competition purists alike.

Though his tenure as White House press secretary was brief, Spicer made a lot of enemies, but also managed to endear himself to MAGA loyalists through his willingness to passionately spew unmitigated bullsh-t in defense of the Big Mac Fascist.

When asked about their experiences on Dancing With the Stars, the celebrities who have battled for the mirrored disco ball usually offer some variation on the same theme.

The consensus seems to be that the competition is far more challenging than any of the participants expected it to be going in.

Dancing With the Stars aired its annual Halloween episode on Monday night, keeping up a pair of traditions in the process:

1. Each contestant dressed up in a costume.

Before we rundown Monday night's shocking outcome on Dancing with the Stars, we'd like to ask readers a question:

Are you okay? Are you in pain? Does your jaw still hurt after crashing very hard to the floor after you heard the eliminated name called  yesterday evening?

Disneyland is known as The Happiest Place on Earth.

And yet, following a Dancing With the Stars episode that took place at this resort and during which the contestant performed Disney-themed routines,  not everyone walked away with a smile on his or her face.

Last week, the Dancing With The Stars contestants were saved from a "normal" elimination after another contestant injury made that call.

This week, the competition was back on, and some of the least polished performers made real improvements to stay in the game.