Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II has finally addressed the very awkward and very surprising announcement made last week by Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.

And, in essence, the ancient monarch has said the following in the wake of this couple wanting to distance itself from the Royal Family:

Queen Elizabeth is not happy at the moment.

And she's not about to sit back and remain silent, either.

By now you've probably heard the shocking news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are stepping down as senior members of the royal family.

Some outlets have reported the news as though the couple is emancipating themselves from Harry's family, which obviously is not the case.

As you're probably aware, the Royals are pretty big on customs, traditions and important sparkly objects.

And since Christmas is all about customs, traditions and important sparkly objects, the Queen and company really shine this time of year -- literally.

On this side of the pond, few public figures are as popular and well-liked as Meghan Markle.

But for reasons that defy explanation, many Brits don't share our objectively-correct positive opinion of the former Suits star,

Meghan Markle has found herself in the hot seat once again.

And this time it is all because she is too dang good of a friend! (seriously) 

As many of us were reminded today, British monarchs are not impotent figureheads, as we're so often told.

In response to a request from Boris "Bowl-Cut Trump" Johnson's request, Queen Elizabeth II agreed to suspend Parliament until October.

Ever since she married Prince Harry back in May of 2018, Meghan Markle's ability to get along with her royal in-laws has been a subject of constant speculation and debate.

Has Meghan breached royal protocol again?

Looks like we've got a new contender for the title of Most Tumultuous Couple in Buckingham Palace!

Sure, William might have cheated on Kate, and the British tabloid press has been relentless in its pursuit of dirt on Harry and Meghan -- but those whippersnappers have nothing on the OGs of royal drama.

Unexpected (and rather suspicious) news out of London today, as The Sun is reporting that Meghan Markle will no longer be permitted to wear jewelry from the royal collection that had previously belonged to Princess Diana.

Interestingly, the report indicates that the ban applies only to Meghan -- and Kate Middleton is still allowed to wear Lady Di's jewels.

Marrying into the British Royal Family is a unique -- and uniquely daunting -- experience.

Sure, your new royal title comes with its fair share of perks, but in many ways, your life is no longer your own.

This week, Thomas Markle lamented that Meghan had ghosted him, and announced that only Queen Elizabeth II can mend his broken family.

We now know that this disgusting betrayal of Meghan's boundaries may have ruined his chances of reconciliation.

According to a new report, someone out there thinks Meghan Markle has a pretty serious attitude problem.

And here's the thing:

Back in May, Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in front of an audience of millions.

The newlywed phase is a famously happy time for any couple, and as a bonus, Meghan recently became royalty.

When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry back in May, she instantly became the Duchess of Sussex.

It's a slightly better situation than when you got married and instantly became burdened by someone else's student loan debt and sh-tty credit score.

We're sure being royalty has its perks.

You get to call people peasants and sit in the fanciest chairs ... all-in-all, it's probably a pretty sweet gig.

When Meghan Markle married Prince Harry last month, her father was not in attendance.

It's still not entirely clear why Thomas Markle chose to stay home rather than watch his daughter become freakin' royalty, but not surprisingly, it seems he now regrets the decision.

In terms of twists of fate that are universally fantasized about, becoming royalty is right up there with winning the lotto or receiving an owl delivery informing you that you've been accepted to Hogwarts.

And like so many Power Ball victors and budding wizards before her, Meghan Markle is learning that the reality is far more complicated than the dream.

It's been less than three weeks since Meghan Markle and Prince Harry got married, but the couple isn't wasting any time when it comes to the business of starting a family.

We've known from the start that Harry and Meghan want to have kids ASAP, but now the issue is somewhat complicated by those stodgy Brits and their dodgy rules about inheritance.

As you've no doubt heard by now, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be married in less than two months.

The couple began dating in 2016, and they obviously haven't wasted any time in rushing to the altar.

The Queen has spoken, folks.

In an official statement issues on Wednesday, Queen Elizabeth II basically looked at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, considered their affection for one another and said the following:

Call us crazy, but we think this whole Meghan Markle-Prince Harry relationship is getting pretty serious.

We got this inkling back when the two first got together... and then it grew stronger last summer after Harry released a public statement that asks trolls to leave his girlfriend alone.

While often seen as traditional, Queen Elizabeth II has always proven that even she can break from tradition when she chooses.

Is she planning to do so again in the most unexpected of ways - by retiring from the throne she has held for nearly 65 years?