Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season Premiere Recap: Family First, Unless You're Bruce
Keeping Up With the Kardashians is back!
That's right, the most boring, scripted show on TV is SO back!
On the Season 7 premiere, Kim and her giant boobs gush about the importance of family, Kourtney reveals the gender of her second baby, Khloe and Kris clash over whether she should take a DNA test, and Bruce takes $h!t from everyone.
Basically all stuff we already knew or didn't care about. Anyway, here's our recap!
Kim Kardashian: "After going through a divorce this past year, it just taught me that family is the most important thing." Well, family and Kanye. Plus 10.
Khloe's in town, but no one bothers to tell Bruce dinner is ready, and he doesn't bother to come downstairs. Blame is shared equally there. Minus 15.
"What does a guy got to do to get a little respect around here?" he says. Not be surrounded by a bunch of money-grubbing reality stars? Minus 10.
OMG ... is Khloe a biological Kardashian? The DNA test drama resumes as Kris Jenner is consumed with the paternity rumors re: Khloe Kardashian.
"This story is not going away," Kris laments. Yeah, because you have Google alerts set up and are filmed talking about it for your show. Minus 30.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Promo Photos and Season 7 Synopsis!
Kim Kardashian has grown closer to her family than ever before. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are preparing for a new baby.
Khloe Kardashian is striving to spend time with her loved ones. Rob Kardashian is finding his way in business
Bruce and Kris Jenner are hitting a rough patch when the former reveals he feels taken for granted.
If these storylines - included in the official E! press release for season seven of Keeping Up with the Kardashians - don't grab your attention, good. There's hope for you yet. But if they DO somehow make you anxious to tune in for new episodes...
... well, those premiere on May 20.
Click through a series of promotional photos of the family now:
Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Renewed for THREE More Seasons!
Prepare to watch Kim Kardashian cry fake tears over at least a half dozen more divorces, E! viewers, as the network announced today that it has renewed Keeping Up with the Kardashians for three more seasons.
The new deal is worth $40 million for the family, and that figure does NOT include all the revenue Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and kompany will earn by simply Tweeting and pretending to be your pal on Facebook.
The contract also does NOT cover additional seasons of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York or Khloé & Lamar, along with any future spin-offs producers can conjure up (Kris Does Menopause? Kendall Studies For Her Learner's Permit?).
Keeping Up with the Kardashians premieres its next season on May 20, with the only real question remaining:
How much air time will be dedicated to Kim and Kanye West?
Spotted: Kylie Jenner and Cody Simpson!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Jimpson sighting! A Senner sighting? Kody, perhaps?
Either way... Kylie Jenner and Cody Simpson totally went on a date this week! The young couple was snapped by paparazzi outside The Grove in Los Angeles, exiting a showing of 21 Jump Street. It's unknown at this time how the pair felt about this Jonah Hill comedy.
Rumors of Kylie and Cody dating first surfaced in November, with this photo pretty much confirming the relationship has already outlasted Kylie's sister's marriage to Kris Humphries.
We sincerely hope Simpson understands the world in which he now lives. And we hope even more than he leaves all video cameras in the closet.
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]
The Kardashians Kover Lady Marmalade
Move over, Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mýa and Pink. The Kardashians are koming!
Kendall and Kylie Jenner posted a video on YouTube yesterday, one that was filmed during the family's Christmas card shoot in December. Like that annoying Kardashian take on Katy Perry's "ET," here we see Kim, Khloe and Kourtney and Kris Jenner lip syncing along to a popular track.
In this case, the 2001 chart topper from Moulin Rouge, "Lady Marmalade." And the lyric repeated most often in that song? Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir.
Sounds about right for the Kardashians, doesn't it?
Kendall and Kylie Jenner Strike a Chic Pose
It's really only a matter of time before Kendall and Kylie Jenner are on the red carpets of Las Vegas and/or headlining their own reality show.
For now, though, the 14-year old and 16-year old are simply following in their sisters' modeling footsteps, the latest example being a shoot with celebrity photographer Nick Saglimbeni. A rather grown up, chic shoot at that:
Kylie Tweeted the photo above last night, as the siblings are going all glam in trendy black dresses and some serious hairdos.
Might modeling take the place of college for the twosome? It sounds that way, based on a recent quote from father Bruce Jenner:
"If they want to go to college, certainly, I think it's a good idea. But I'm not the advocate of, 'You've got to go to college!' I think by the time they graduate from high school, they will probably be in a position to go right to working."
Let's just hope neither is pitching the same product as their mother any time soon.
Kardashian Khristmas Kard: It's Here!!!!
Oh, happy days. The holidays can finally begin!
Early this morning, Kim Kardashian and kompany released the family's official Christmas card, with each member getting his or her black tie on and Kim, naturally, standing all alone.
If you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the publicist-inspired whining coming out of her mouth...
The photo was snapped by Nick Saglimbeni and there’s a apparently a 3D version available for those that purchase 3D glasses. On a related note: if you purchase 3D glasses to view to view the Kardashian Christmas card, don't stop driving at the store. Just keep right on going to a psychologist's office.
Tell this professional it's an emergency. You clearly need major help.
[Photo: Kim Kardashian Blog]
Cody Simpson and Kylie Jenner: New Couple Alert!
Pretty soon, Kim Kardashian will be the only member of her family to have starred in a sex tape and faked a marriage for money be single.
Multiple sources confirm that 14-year old Kylie Jenner has struck up a relationship with pop singer Cody Simpson, as the pair were spotted arm-in-arm at The Grove in Los Angeles this weekend.
"I would say they are dating," a mole tells Us Weekly. "They are a couple! They are so cute together."
Jenner and Simpson reportedly met and hung out and at this month's Hollywood premiere of Breaking Dawn "and have been inseparable since," the insider adds.
Sigh. We can just see it now: Kylie and Cody Take Los Angeles, coming in 2013 to E!
[Photo: Pacific Coast News]
Breaking Dawn Premiere-Off: Kylie Jenner vs. Kendall Jenner
There were a lot of accomplished, talented, famous faces at last night's Los Angeles premiere of Breaking Dawn.
Then there was Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner. These two show ended up on the red carpet for pretty much the same reason that Kendall was gifted with a $90,000 car for her 16th birthday: because their family is rich.
But this isn't the time to knock such a spoiler family, at least not too much. It's a time to compare styles and fashion selections. Do so below and vote on which Jenner sibling looked prettiest:
Kylie Jenner Makes Katwalk Debut
Kylie Jenner is officially a Kardashian.
No, she hasn't starred in a sex tape. And, no, she is yet to sell out her curvy female brethren for a deal with a dangerous dietary supplement. But the half-sister of Kim, Khloe and kompany has made her fashion show debut.
The 14-year-old modeled Abbey Dawn ensembles, designed by Avril Lavigne, on the runway last night. Lavigne, of course, is dating Kylie's step-brother, Brody Jenner.
"Just left Avril Lavigne's fashion show with my lil sis Kylie Jenner walking in it," Kim, 30, Tweeted. "She was so fab!"
What was Kylie's reaction? Exactly what her mother likely paid her to write: "[I] had the most amazing time!"
