Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing...

by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Usually when Jessica Simpson's Instagram page grabs out attention it's because of awesome Jessica Simpson cleavage.

Today, however, Jess is putting a smile on her followers' faces in a much more wholesome fashion.

  • Maxwell Drew Johnson Pic
  • Maxwell Drew Johnson: Jessica Simpson's Little Girl

Yes, that's 2-year-old Maxwell Drew all up in mommy's lip gloss.

She's blonde and she already loves makeup and the camera. We think it's safe to say the apple didn't fall far from the tree with this one.

Believe it or not, some of the early Maxwell Drew photos were the subject of controversy, as many felt that Jess was dressing her baby inappropriately.

Those same people will probably have a problem with lil Max wearing lip gloss, but hey - it's good for the girl to learn at an early age that haters gon' hate.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

On True Tori Season 3 Episode 1 tonight, viewers will watch in horror as Tori Spelling cries multiple rivers over the failing state of her marriage to Dean McDermott.

Is there any hope at all for these two, considering the latter has admitted to an affair and the former is, well, Tori Spelling? We doubt it.

What happened to the once-happy couple? To bubbly parents of four? Two simple words: Greed. Infidelity. Desperation. Annoyance. Reality. Television.

Jon and Kate Gosselin
Jon and Kate Gosselin spent years opening up about their problems in front of the camera. Hmmm... how did that go for them?

Granted, Spelling and McDermott are still technically married. But come on. They're totally doomed.

But at least they aren't alone. It's rare for couples who appear on a reality TV show together to actually stay together, as divorces have befallen everyone from a Teen Mom to a sex tape star to... whatever the heck Jon Gosselin does with his life.

So as you watch Kendra on Top online and as you wonder how such mighty pairings have fallen, hold your significant other tightly and be glad you aren't doing it with a camera in your face.

by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Remember Dane Cook? He was the briefly popular bromedian who disappeared after being busted for stealing much of his act from other comics.

These days, Dane is launching a comeback (hopefully with original material), and he sat down with Andy Cohen last night to promote his upcoming standup special that we're guessing is titled Dane Cook: Still a Douche!

Years ago, there were rumors that Dane dated Jessica Simpson, but now it looks as though they were just co-stars on the justly-forgotten 2006 film Employee of the Month.

These days, of course, Jessica is married with two kids and a thriving fashion empire. But that doesn't mean she's above being burned by a prematurely washed-up hack she worked with eight years ago!

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Eric Johnson just can't win on Instagram lately.

First, Johnson threw his baby into the air and Jessica Simpson posted a photo of it. He took a lot of flak from child safety advocates, because, well...the kid was really high up.

Now, he's been photographed wearing Jess' underwear on his head (in public) and the world has reacted with a very different sort of WTF?!

Eric Johnson Wears Jessica Simpson's Underwear

In fairness, Jess and Eric were at a costume party, and apparently he didn't have time to buy a mask, which makes sense when you consider his busy schedule of talking about when he used to be employed.

Jessica claims on Instagram that Eric's mask was "the hit of the party," but we're gonna go ahead and guess that Jessica being carried out drunk was the real highlight. We pretty much just assume that's how every gathering ends for her.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson is happier than ever lately, and says that even during the period where her weight was highly criticized, she felt like a sex symbol.

To her husband Eric Johnson, anyway, which is all that matters.

"I'm doing amazing," she told Today's Matt Lauer Wednesday.

When asked why she baby-tossing Eric Johnson chose July 5 as the time to get married, to her longtime love, the smiling Jessica quipped:

"Well, we had two babies. So we figured, why not?"

Really, though, the cute duo was "already engaged."

But, she reminds us, "then I got pregnant ... oops!"

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Jessica Simpson's husband, Eric Johnson, was a tight end during his brief NFL career, so hopefully he can catch as well as he can throw.

Otherwise, Johnson might end up dealing with a traumatized tyke and a seriously pissed off wife. Check out this photo from her Instagram:

Eric Johnson Baby Throwing Photo

Jess posted the above photo of her high-flying baby along with a caption reading, "I was on a plane to NYC today and I missed out on this!!! I'm in LOVE with the 2 of them. #boyswillbeboys"

You might think Jess would be concerned, but she has good reason not to be.

For one thing, Jessica married Eric back in July, and dude has shown zero interest in getting a job, so she's probably hoping this is a sign that he's working on his NFL comeback.

Plus, EJ's got plenty of experience.

Jess posted of a photo of her baby daddy tossing daughter Maxwell Johnson into the air back in April and he has yet to drop her on her head, thank you very much.

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

We think it's safe to say that marriage and motherhood agree with Jessica Simpson.

Jessica trimmed down to get married to Eric Johnson back in July, but from the looks of things, she's not easing up on the workouts just because she's got a ring on it.

Simpson dropped 65 pounds for her wedding and she's reportedly kept the weight off by sticking to the same demanding regimen that helped her slim down in the first place.

  • Jessica Simpson and Daughter
  • Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson Image

The photo on the left shows Jess and her daughter at Ashlee Simpson's wedding last month. The pic on the right shows Jess celebrating her husband's birthday yesterday.

Looks like Eric has every reason to smile.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's amazing, but true:

Kim Kardashian has something in common with Tina Fey.. who has something in common with Daniel Radcliffe... who has something in common with Jessica Simpson and... Lil Wayne?!?

All of these celebrities have had sex!

And, even more relevant in this case, all of these celebrities have had sex and revealed the age in which it first happened!

Who waited until marriage? Who first got it on at the age of 8 (seriously!!!)? Who was playing a game of Win, Lose, or Draw when his opponent wrote "F-ck Me" on the board?

We thought that one might get your attention. Find out now!

Kim Kardashian Was...
... 14 when she first slept with a man. She admitted this to Oprah Winfrey.

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Kanye West literally wrote the song about gold diggers, probably thanks to one-time girlfriend Amber Rose (a former stripper married to Wiz Khalifa).

Or maybe he wrote it with now-wife and baby mama Kim Kardashian in mind. 

Or maybe he just spent a lot of time observing the comings and goings of other notorious celebrity gold diggers. Regardless, here's a tribute to them!

Kim Kardashian
Sure, she was rich in her own right, but she married the guy who wrote the song! We couldn't NOT include her!

Gold diggers come in all shapes, sizes and genders. Some of the ones on our list come to mind more quickly than others, but all are mining it hard.

In the time-honored, profound and compelling words of Alicia Keys, some people live for the fortune and some people live for the fame.

And in the words of 'Ye, "if you ain't no chump, holler WE WANT PRENUP!"

Truly, a mantra to live your life if ever there were one right there.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Blissful, stunning newlywed Jessica Simpson has penned a column for Glamour in which she revealed her wedding vows, but with a bit of a twist.

These aren't just the vows she exchanged with Eric Johnson at the altar, but the vows she's taken for herself, as they pertain to nurturing a happy marriage.

Remember Who You Are
"When I was younger and starting out in the music business," Jessica writes, "I always felt like I was being defined by other people ... industry executives, fans, the media, and so on. It took a while, but now that I'm in my 30s, I’ve grown into myself and established my identity on my terms. I embrace my strengths and celebrate even the small victories. I'm certainly not perfect, but when I look in the mirror, I'm proud of the woman I see. I'm not only a mother, wife, and daughter. I'm me."

While a wedding is "one happiest days of your life," she says "the love you are walking toward is most rewarding when you have that love coming first from within."

"It’s a time to celebrate with family and friends as you vow to build a life with your soulmate. These are the vows that I've made toward a loving marriage."

Now that the wedding has passed, "I've had some time to reflect on how life’s challenges and accomplishments have brought me to where I am right now. "

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Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson
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