Our poll results may suggest otherwise, but in the opinion of our writers, if there's one person alive who can make Britney Spears look like a great mother, it's Dina Lohan.
Yes, the insane, manipulative, money-grubbing mother of Lindsay Lohan in talks to star in her own reality TV show.
Dina has ridden the coattails of her eldest daughter, Lindsay, for years trying to become famous. Now she is in talks to do a reality show with E! tentatively titled "Mom-ager," in which she'll try to turn her youngest children, Ali Lohan, 14, and Cody Lohan, 11, into stars.
An insider fumed:
"Can you believe that? She totally messed up Lindsay by making her a 'star' and living vicariously through her - and now she's going to do the same to the other two? How the [bleep] can E! do this? Those kids should be in school having normal lives, the life that Lindsay Lohan didn't get to have."
Dina Lohan, who (seriously) refers to herself as "the white Oprah," has been trying for more than a year to get an on-air TV job.
Most recently, desperate for attention, she went on Entertainment Tonight to give the show "exclusives" with troubled Lindsay.
She actually pulled this crap twice - first when she was in the Wonderland rehab center and a second time at the Georgia Rule premiere.
What's next? A Shar Jackson reality show?
Dina failed to return calls and e-mails regarding the new series, and so did reps for E! and Lindsay Lohan, who's reportedly happy in rehab.
Lindsay is at the Promises rehab center - former home of none other than the great Britney Spears - in Malibu and "may stay for more than a month," says a friend.
That might not sit well with the man claiming to be her lawyer, Mike Heller, who is promoting her 21st birthday party in July at Pure.
A Lindsay Lohan friend says:
"Mike Heller claims he is her lawyer, but he is not. Blair Berk and Jason Sloane are. He arranged for this party at Pure and got paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for it, and now won't call it off. He says Lindsay doesn't want him to - of course, she doesn't. She's turning 21 - but if he really cared about her, he would cancel it. A girl just out of rehab should not be hanging out at Pure."
The friend added, "[Heller] is treating her birthday like a carnival - he's selling tickets to the public and insists on telling media outlets that the party is still on and speaking for her. Her lawyers are thinking of getting an injunction against him."
Heller, who is a lawyer, told the New York Post's Page Six that he's not Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, yet repeatedly referred to her as "my client."
He said: "I care about Lindsay Lohan, but it's her decision whether or not to have her party, and she wants one. I am not selling tickets, and I don't need her to line my pockets. I have my own money. I already got paid by the club, so I don't care if it's canceled or not."
What a class act. All we have to say is that Calum Best got out just in time.