Ali Lohan
Gossip

This is actually a true story:

The police were called to Lindsay Lohan's house last night, due to an alarm malfunction.

Once they got there, officers on the scene thought the house had been burglarized because it was so messy. An NBC affiliate reports that LAPD officer Karen Rayner asked:

"Is it normally like this, or did the intruders do it?”

We tell that story because, well, it's hilarious. But it also speaks to the depths to which Lindsay has sunk, making Dina Lohan's recent comments about her daughters that much more troublesome (and, well, hilarious).

The World's Worst Mother told Life & Style that “Lindsay is a good person to have watch over Ali right now. Lindsay can show Ali the ropes. Ali’s out there working on her record and singing career."

If "ropes" is a euphemism for drugs, alcohol and sex with random men or women, then Dina is right. Ali is in ideal hands.

Dina Lohan is slamming reports that question her parenting skills and claim that her 15-year-old daughter, Ali, is socializing instead of studying.

"Ali is in a home-schooling program. She has never been pulled out of school," Dina tells People. "It's the same home-schooling program that Lindsay was in since the 10th grade. It's a wonderful program many celebrities are enrolled in."

Defending her parenting skills (and we use the term loosely), Dina Lohan says, "I am a single mom of four children, and I devote my life to my children."

As for recent reports that Ali Lohan has been bitten by the partying bug, Dina says her daughter "is working, working hard. She's recording, and she's working on a fashion line. Ali has also been supporting her sister."

Dina Lohan just wants money and attention the best for her children.

Lindsay Lohan, who recently split from girlfriend Samantha Ronson, is also focusing on her career (and we also use that term loosely), her proud mom says.

"Lindsay is working extremely hard," Dina said of her Adderall-addict daughter. "Her new spray tan line sold more than 100,000 units at Sephora in one day."

There are so many things wrong with that statement, and this woman in general, that we don't even know where to start. We'll just pass and move on.

Dina says she understands that her family's high profile garners attention, but says, "We just wish people would leave us alone – at least for Mother's Day!"

That's the problem with becoming a cheap media whore at your kids' expense - celebrity gossip sites scrutinize Lindsay Lohan pictures. Funny how that works.

Ali Lohan is just 15 years old.

We feel the need to remind readers of this fact after the aspiring celebrity was photographed in Hawaii this week, straddling a surfboard, flaunting her cleavage and smiling for the paparazzi.

Ali likely earned a bonus on her allowance from attention-starved mother Dina for this one. She's clearly taught her youngest daughter well.

Ali Lohan cannot legally drive, drink or vote. But, hey, you're never too young to shake your breasts at a photographer!

Seriously, Jonathan Ressler?!?

We aren't too familiar with this artist's work, but we have to question his choice of subjects for his new "Extraordinary Women Exhibit."

According to Ressler's website, this pictorial features "portraits of 50 of the most remarkable women anyone is likely to meet. Each woman stands apart: beautiful, graceful, compassionate, wise and brave; individual and unforgettable."

Somehow, someway, for some unknown reason, Ali Lohan has been included on the list.

She looks as baffled - and freezing - as we are by this inclusion. Here's a shot of Lindsay's 15-year old sister posing for the exhibit in the middle of Times Square:

Cheer up, Ali. Didn't you wanna be famous?!?

Click on the following photos of this young star for larger images...

[Photo Credits: Splash News]

As rumors swirl regarding problems between Lindsay Lohan and girlfriend Samantha Ronson, everyone's favorite, occasional lesbian took a break from her relationship to hang out with sister Ali.

The siblings went shopping together in Malibu this week, barely exchanging glances and not looking nearly as excited as they should have considering how many photographers were following them around.

Such apparent disdain for attention is likely to lead to a butt-whipping from mother Dina Lohan when these two get home...

In the following images, Lindsay Lohan looks baffled about what to buy. She hasn't had to make this difficult a decision since choosing between which gender to date.

Click to enlarge each photo:

[Photo Credits: Splash News Online]

Today's two biggest celebrity birthdays have next to nothing in common.

Jordin Sparks won the sixth season of American Idol, and almost more significantly, is an idol American girls can actually look up to. Her down-to-earth nature, self-confidence and family-first values make this 19-year-old a rare star in this era.

Ali Lohan, who turns 37 15 today? She's a train wreck in training.

Not entirely of her own volition, of course. With mom Dina Lohan pimping her hard, Ali has no choice but to become a raging crack whore for the entertainment industry and follow in the twisted, drug-addled footsteps of big sis Lindsay.

Emancipate yourself, Ali. Do it soon. New York courts are so liberal, they might actually go for it. Then move in with Jordin. There's still time!!

Anyway. Here's a photo tribute to the birthday girls. Click to enlarge ...

Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan got dressed up - sort of - for a Halloween costume party earlier this week.

Mother and daughter look absolutely thrilled to be photographed, don't they?

Perhaps the pressure of being talentless, famous and annoying is finally getting to these two. Ali needs to find her own Samantha Ronson, while Dina needs to find a way to slip into a coma.

As you check out the following Ali Lohan picture on the cover of some magazine called Supermodels Unlimited, keep this in mind:

She's 14 years old!

This publication claims Ali Lohan is "America's New Sweetheart." Do you agree?

Lindsay Lohan must read The Hollywood Gossip.

Mere hours after we posed the question of whether or not Ali Lohan has underdone a boob job, her sister published the following blog on her MySpace account:

I was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me. Of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.

I am not judging people that do, but I am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet! It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…

Ali Lohan breast enhancement rumors aren't a laughing matter to her sister.

I just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.

In a more positive light, I got some great clothes from Alexander Wang and I miss Samantha Ronson cuz she’s out of town.

Do you believe Lindsay? Or is she sounding a bit defensive about the whole thing?

Ali Lohan really wants to be famous.

Almost half the world's population is made up of men.

Men love boobs.

Therefore, it's not unrealistic to ask if the younger sister of Lindsay has followed the lead of Heidi Montag, another untalented fame whore that admittedly enhanced her breasts last year.

We present the following photos - taken in early and mid-2008, respectively - as evidence that Ali's boobs may be as real as any claim Dina Lohan makes about being a good mother:

Did Ali Lohan get a boob job? Examine the pictures. Let us know your thoughts.