Diabolical Dina Lohan: We're a Normal Family

Dina Lohan was forced to get wasted at Hyde. And Bungalow 8. And any other time she was caught acting like an irresponsible mother.

"Oh, the party mom, the party mom, the party mom!" Lohan says in the April issue of Harper's Bazaar. "Whoever said that, my ex-husband or whatever, I'm not the party mom! You throw enough pasta on the walls, some pasta's going to stick, okay?"

Pasta on walls? Sounds to us like the party mom is wasted again. But that must be the fault of Lindsay Lohan.

Don't blame Ms. Firecrotch for the media fixation on Dina's club-hopping image, though. That's solely due for how incredibly good looking this 44-year old is. Naturally.

"If I looked like a tire, they wouldn't even give a damn," Dina says, dissing tires across the world. "And I'm not that hot, trust me."

We know. We'd rather stare at pictures of Star Jones.

Lohan also lashes out at the suggestion that Lindsay, who checked into rehab in January, is an alcoholic. "She is just a 20-year-old who had to reel it in," she says. "And she's from an addictive personality genetically."

Hey, Jesse Metcalfe, maybe you can use the same excuse.

As for sometimes sipping Montrachet in front of her daughter? "It's not a weird, freaky thing. No, we're normal. It's normalcy," Dina insists.

Meanwhile, while the elder Loan also reveals that she led a couple of interventions for Lindsay in the past and tried to convince her daughter to go to rehab, she says - in a nationally circulated publication - that such knowledge isn't for the public to know.

"Like if your child's in high school and they have a bulimia problem or they're ADD, you're not going to stand on the stage and go, Oh, my kid's screwed up. I'm sorry, that's disgusting."

Wait, did she just call Nicole Richie digusting?

On Wednesday morning, the New York Post and the cohosts of The View expressed skepticism about Lohan's comments, which a rep for the manager mom rep says has Lohan upset.

"The woman is honest," the rep said to People magazine. "Just because the New York Post and Rosie O'Donnell take everything out of context? There's nothing bad there. Dina's doing the best she can with what she has. [She] has three other kids. No one ever talks about that."

That's not true. The Hollywood Gossip is obsessed with making sure that Ali Lohan doesn't fall into the same trouble that has plagued her screwed up mother and sister. That's why we think Angelina Jolie should adopt her.