Michael Lohan

The current season of Celebrity Big Brother features a wide array of public figures ranging from the douchey (Kato Kaelin) to the mega-douchey (Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci).

(Shout out to Ricky Williams and Tom Green, the only non-douches sharing a roof with the Mooch).

Lindsay Lohan's bizarre new "LiLohan" accent set the internet on fire this past week, and while most people were more concerned about her mental health than they were about her garbled nonsense, Michael Lohan, like, isn't even concerned. 

In an interview with ET Online, Michael addressed Lindsay's new way of talking, and said, "Lindsay picks up languages like I pick up a coffee!" Michael revealed.

Kate Major is a major loser. 

Kate Major is a majorly terrible mom. 

Earlier today, video of a physical altercation between Lindsay Lohan and her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, was leaked online, drawing astonished reactions from fans.

Last week, rumors that Lindsay Lohan is pregnant began to circulate online.

Michael Lohan is standing up for his daughter.

The way only Michael Lohan can.

The last time we heard from him, Bam Margera was getting beat up after trash-talking some random Europeans while on tour doing...whatever it is Bam Margera does on tour.

So when Bam popped up on the debut season of VH1's Family Therapy a few weeks ago, we weren't surprised to see that he's since admitted he has a problem with alcohol. We were a bit surprised by his choice of sober companion:

As we reported earlier this week, Lindsay Lohan is dating a 22-year-old Russian real estate agent with the awesomely Russian name of Egor Tarabasov.

Michael Lohan turned himself in this morning and was booked on battery charges stemming from a brawl with his estranged wife.

Check out his latest mug shot, courtesy of TMZ. At least he's looking alert and alive, which was in doubt after his possible heart attack:

Michael Lohan -  the troubled father of actress-turned-tabloid-fodder Lindsay Lohan  - has reportedly been rushed to a Florida hospital after suffering what appeared to be a heart attack.

Parents Of The Year nominees Michael Lohan and Kate Major are so crackers that they have lost custody of their two children, Landon, 2, and Logan, 10 months.  

Kate Major Lohan, the wife of Lindsay Lohan's dear old dad Michael Lohan, was arrested last night for attacking him in a drunken rage, according to police.

Michael Lohan and Kate Major are closing out 2014 in style.

In adorable style, that is, as the often-troubled couple just welcomed their second son into the world!

Yesterday, we learned that Michael Lohan and Kate Major got married after several years together, and a half dozen or so domestic violence arrests.

Usually, a wedding is a cause for celebration, but this is the Lohan family we're talking about, so naturally Michael and Kate's union has resulted in lies, public intoxication, and of course, some solid entertainment for the rest of us.

Troubled celebrity father Michael Lohan has married his troubled girlfriend Kate Major ... who is also pregnant with their second child, according to reports.

Kate Major is sitting in jail after her recent arrest, having been denied bail in a Florida courtroom on Friday morning and ordered held until at least Tuesday.

Michael Lohan and Kate Major got into another huge fight last night, only this time the scuffle ended with his baby mama arrested for DUI in Florida.

MiLo claims she hit him multiple times in the face, and after Lindsay Lohan's father called 911, police rolled up just in time to see Kate fleeing in her car.

Three days ago Kate Major was locked in a bedroom with her 1-year-old son, begging Twitter to save her from an angry, knife-wielding Michael Lohan trying to break down the door.

Now she's changed her story to "Just kidding!" 

Michael Lohan's baby mama Kate Major called the police early this morning, claiming he was threatening her with a knife and was planning to take their son.

We know this, of course, from Twitter.

Michael Lohan is speaking out about his 18-year-old love child Ashley Horn's plastic surgery, which she says she got to look like a "hotter" Lindsay Lohan.

Needless to say he's not happy.