Michael Lohan: Lindsay is Not Insane!

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Lindsay Lohan's bizarre new "LiLohan" accent set the internet on fire this past week, and while most people were more concerned about her mental health than they were about her garbled nonsense, Michael Lohan, like, isn't even concerned. 

In an interview with ET Online, Michael addressed Lindsay's new way of talking, and said, "Lindsay picks up languages like I pick up a coffee!" Michael revealed.

"I will tell you this, she's spoken other languages on the phone with me - languages I don't understand."

"I'll be on the phone with her and I'll hear her say something in fluent Farsi to a friend she's with." 

Now that's just showing off. 

Also, does Michael Lohan even know what Farsi is? 

Nah, we didn't think so either. 

Michael Lohan Really Sucks!

Even the ever-contentious Dina Lohan weighed in, adding her comments to the pile.

"I raised Lindsay and all my children to constantly learn different languages and embrace different cultures," mom said.

"Since Lindsay was a kid, she was speaking fluent Italian because my mother is Italian and would only speak to her in it."

"She taught herself how to speak French, Arabic, Hebrew, and the list goes on," Dina remarked.

"Lindsay has a very high IQ and is very intelligent and can pick up on any language in a minute - she has that gift."

Dina Lohan Shares an Instagram Of Herself With Daughter, Lindsay

"She is a worldly person who has so many talents and so much to offer, and that's what makes her so special and so beautiful," Dina added. 

First, if Lindsay had such a high IQ, she might not do half of the things she's done, making herself look like a literal dumb ass. 

Second, learning various languages should not trigger a visceral response that validates your bizarre reasoning for talking with a completely different accent. 

See how well that worked out for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow. 

Gwyneth Paltrow GIF

They both ended up looking like pretentious asses, and unfortunately for Lindsay, those two women have accomplished more in their lifetimes than Lindsay could in three. 

As for Lindsay's mental health, Michael dismisses any rumors that she's in the midst of a mental crisis. 

Michael claims that Lindsay's doing "absolutely amazing," and that "she's so happy and healthy and doing great.

"Every time I talk to her she's so positive."

"There's nothing to be concerned about."

Fire Crotch

No, except for an errant accent on an American woman with a history of both substance abuse and mental health concerns. 

Is it us, or does the whole entire Lohan family need to get a good, solid grip? 

You know what, never mind. 

Don't even bother answering that. 

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Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo
Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan