Kate Major is a major loser.
Kate Major is a majorly terrible mom.
Kate Major is the majority leader of Poor Decision-Makers of America.
In any case, Kate Major - who's married to Michael Lohan, Lindsay's dad - was arrested in Palm Beach, Florida yesterday for battery of an officer, as well as drunkenly disturbing the peace.
She should have been booked for having the bad sense to marry Lohan, as well as the real reason she should have been arrested.
Major caused a scene after she went to a friend's house and got drunk.
After getting drunk, she tried to pick up her child from Michael's home, and when Michael smelled alcohol on her breath and noticed her drunkenness, he took the keys away from her.
Lohan then called the police when Major got combative, and after officers arrived on the scene, she kicked and fought them as they arrested her.
Major is currently incarcerated, and TMZ reported that her latest arrest could land her some serious jail time ...
Especially considering that she's already on probation for assault.
Her current probation stems from an arrest back in 2015, where she was removed from a plane after drunkenly threatening the flight attendants.
Prior to the air incident, Major was arrested for attacking Lohan.
If you're wondering whether or not Major was drunk - again - for this incident, ask yourself a harder question like, "Does the sun rise every day?"
It'd be like playing brain games, giving the old cranium something to strain over.
When police arrived on the scene, it was apparent that she was drunk.
She's scratched Lohan down his back, and reportedly clawed as her own throat in order to make it look reciprocal.
In 2015, both Major and Lohan lost custody of their children, Landon and Logan, after a video emerged featuring a vicious fight between Michael and Kate.
(But "Logan Lohan?" Really?)
After the children were put in temporary guardianship - at their grandmom's house - Michael was cleared of criminal child abuse charges.
Despite being cleared, the children remained in their grandmother's custody.
The two have been separated for nearly a year, after Kate filed on the grounds that Lohan tried to "sabotage" her rehabilitation stay.
Kate requested legal custody of the couple's two children, as well as joint physical custody, and in addition to spousal support.
"Good luck," we say.