Yarr, Captain Jack is one of our favorite actors.
Last week, fans were shocked by photos of Johnny Depp looking gaunt and frail while on tour with his band in Europe.
If you haven't seen the image in question, just imagine what Johnny would look like if he had spent the past few months preparing for a live-action sequel to the Corpse Bride.
In recent photos, Johnny Depp has looked gaunt and frail. That's bad news if you're a fan.
But if you're the sort of person who happens to be concerned with Depp's well-being, there is good news! Sources claim that he's totally healthy, all appearances to the contrary.
One of the many, many perks of being a world-famous movie star is getting to spend time with your idols.
And so, Johnny Depp has lived with Hunter S. Thompson and jammed with Keith Richards.
It wasn't all that long ago that Johnny Depp was one of the most beloved and sought-after talents in Hollywood.
But those days have been washed away in a tidal wave of bad press and enough rum to keep the Black Pearl afloat.
In case you haven't been keeping up with the sad downward spiral of Johnny Depp in recent months, allow us to quickly fill you in:
Basically, over the course of the past year, the once-beloved actor has gone from brooding weirdo with mystique, a la Edward Scissorhands, to perennially-inebriated shyster who you wouldn't trust to look after your houseplants, a la some unsettling combo of Captain Jack Sparrow and Depp's Hunter S. Thompson caricature from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Back in the early 2000s, Johnny Depp's transition from oddball indie darling to blockbuster franchise star was the talk of Hollywood.
Not only had Depp made the leap from the arthouse to the A-list, he did so following a late-nineties slump that saw him headlining such forgettable fare as Don Juan DeMarco and The Nick of Time.
Johnny Depp's public image has taken quite a beating over the past year.
The man who used to be Hollywood's most beloved weirdo is now viewed by many as an unstable, abusive alcoholic.
Johnny Depp is in the the throes of a legal battle that sounds super boring at first, but has yielded some very interesting - and very credible - information about the actor's personal life.
Depp is suing his former management team, TMG, alleging that the group mishandled his funds and allowed him to spend himself to the brink of financial ruin.
As you may have heard, Johnny Depp has some money problems.
In fact, some have gone so far as to claim that Johnny Depp is broke.
Johnny Depp owes many people an apology:
