It''s a real, honest-to-goodness task trying to come up with something positive to say about David Eason, but if we had to do it, we'd say this:
He sure has an impressive habit of outdoing himself.
In some alternate universe, perhaps he could use that skill for good, but in this one?
It's just not in the cards.
Still, it's remarkable how he started his 15 minutes of fame as such an awful person and then somehow, against all odds, manages to get even worse with each passing day.
There have been tons of instances where we were certain that he'd reached his maximum douchebag monster potential -- like when he stabbed all those balloons at that Teen Mom party, or when he went on that nasty homophobic rant that got him fired.
Or hey, remember when he was investigated by the Secret Service for tagging the president in a video of him shooting an assault rifle?
But back in April, he killed Jenelle's little French bulldog, Nugget -- he shot her with a shotgun after allegedly beating her because she barely nipped at Ensley.
And how do you top that?
A whole, whole lot has happened since then.
And then at the end of October, Jenelle threw us all for a loop when she announced that she was leaving David and preparing to file for divorce.
She took Kaiser and Ensley and fled the state of North Carolina. Word is that she's now set up in an apartment in Nashville.
She filed a restraining order against David and was apparently able to prove that he'd been abusive to both her and the kids.
She said that he'd locked Kaiser in a car and wouldn't let him out, and also that he threatened to kill someone and make Jenelle eat the head.
Things seem to be going well for her since she left him. She's getting along better with Nathan and Barbara, she's talking to some of her old friends again.
Well, he's still impressing us ... in the sense that he's finding ways to be an even worse human being!
In the weeks since Jenelle left him, he's called her "loose," he's insinuated that she's the abusive one, not him, and he's been getting really into making his knives, which is honestly a little bit creepy, considering everything.
You'd think that he'd be taking this time to try to make himself look better, or at least just be quiet.
Jenelle seems pretty intent on keeping Ensley away from him as much as possible, so it wouldn't be smart for him to keep reminding everyone of why that would be a good idea, you know?
Unfortunately, this is David we're talking about, and he just can't seem to help himself.
He even made a new statement about Nugget, if you can believe it, because what would make him look like a stable person and a good parent like talking about the dog he murdered?
It happened on Instagram, in the comments on that post with him showing off his goat friend.
One person wasn't buying into his "Look at my cute goat and not into my tarnished soul" routine, and that person commented with "You killed a dog. 'Nuff said."
David, bless his simple heart, responded with "So did your veterinarian."
Is ... is he trying to say that he euthanized Nugget? Because that is super dumb, even for him.
When a vet puts a dog to sleep, it's gentle and painless and because it's what's best for the dog.
David blowing his wife's tiny pup away with a shotgun in the woods doesn't really compare.
We know that he likes to pretend like he had no choice, that Nugget was a vicious monster who couldn't be stopped, but that really never seemed to be the case.
But sure, Dave - you tell 'em.