Well, it finally happened.
After years of teasing, Jenelle Evans has finally released the long-awaited first item in her JE Cosmetics line — an eyebrow kit that retails for $40.
That’s roughly the same price as the similar kit from Kylie Jenner, but since Jenelle is about 1/1 millionth as famous, her kit must really deliver the goods, right?
Well, if by “the goods” you mean fake reviews, copyright infringement, and a bunch of bad press, then Jenelle’s got just what you’re looking for!
Yes, you might have guessed the roll-out would be a disaster, but no one thought it would this much of a mess!
Jump into the gallery below for all the latest on Jenelle’s hilarious attempt at becoming a business tycoon:
Jenelle’s Big Night
In New York City on Tuesday night, Jenelle finally launched her long-promised eyebrow kit — and she did her best to make the event look like a well-attended, yet highly exclusive soiree.
Keeping Up Appearances
The pics Evans posed for in front of the neon sign bearing heer business’ name create the impression that this was a legitimate launch party. But it looks to have been a hastily thrown-together mess.
The Trouble Begins
For starters, Jenelle’s original venue canceled after catching wind of the countless allegations against her.
Justice For Nugget
Topping the list, of course, is the role that Jenelle played in the beating and shotgun death of her French bulldog, Nugget. But there are so many allegations to choose from when you’re talking about Jenelle!
We Guess That’s … Convenient
Anyway, this forced Jenelle to rent a private residence for the party, and it appears she slept in the apartment once the guests left. (Note the astroturf on the floor in her afterparty pic.)
Minimal Effort
Earlier in the week, the venue served as the launch site for a skincare line, and it appears as though Jenelle’s manager (who likely organized both events) didn’t bother to switch up the decor. Also convenient!
Hey, A Party Is a Party, Right?
As for how many were in attendance, estimates vary, but the consensus seems to be that around 15-20 guests were on hand for the big night.
Farrah Was There!
And what’s a launch party without a few celebs? Well, Jenelle might not have reached the multiple-celeb stage, but she did have one semi-famous figure on hand — fellow fired Teen Mom alum Farrah Abraham!
Absent Ashley
Jenelle’s friend Ashley Martson of 90 Day Fiance was in town — but it appears she was unable to attend the start-studded event.
Problems From the Start
Of course, the issues began well before the night of Jenelle’s bust of a launch party.
The First Failure
Evans has been promising this line for over two years. She scaled back her offering to one product, but she still wasn’t able to make it available online in time for the September 1 launch date.
Major Misstep
Then, the day before the party, Jenelle and David sat for this disastrous interview.
The Nugget Incident
The goal was to dispel the negative publicity surrounding David’s beating and murder of a puppy prior to Jenelle’s product roll-out.
Bad Move
Of course, the Easons aren’t exactly PR geniuses, so they wound up digging themselves an even deeper hole.
Legitimate Psycho
“It was a situation where my daughter, her health, her safety was in danger,†Eason said of his decision to shoot the 11-pound animal with a shotgun at point-blank range.
Her … Health?
“It was a situation where my daughter, her health, her safety was in danger,†said an unconvincing Eason.
Sure Looks Aggressive
“This was something that nobody wants to ever have to do. The dog was aggressive,” Eason added.
That’s Why You Put It Up For Adoption
“Yes, she might not be huge or whatever, but you know when a dog bites a child on the face more than one time, then it should never be around the child again,†Eason continued.
The “Proof”
The only evidence of an attack that David has ever been able to provide is this photo, which … doesn’t show any bite marks.
It Never Ends
We could go on by talking about how David lied and said that he was bound by North Carolina law to shoot the dog, but there’s so much more to cover here.
Of Course
How about a little copyright infringement? Yes, Jenelle is being accused of marketing her product by piggy-backing on another company’s name.
Not Good
This could create major problems for her down the line, but hey — at least she’s got fake reviews to keep her afloat.
Phony Business
The first reviews on Jenelle’s personal site were all one-stat pans. They’ve since been replaced by the obviously-fake raves.
Phil Ashio – Get It? Fellatio
Yes, that’s almost certainly David’s pseudonym. What a sense of humor on that guy,
Still?!
And of course, if you go to the official site for JE Cosmetics, you still find a page that’s been overtaken by animal rights activists in honor of Nugget. We love to see it, don’t we, folks?