According to various sources, Mike Johnson is the front-runner to be ABC's next Bachelor.
And, yes, we know why:
He's very handsome. He's very down to Earth. He's kind and humble and we typically trust Demi Lovato's taste in men.
But do viewers want handsome? Do they want down to Earth? Do they want someone who is generous and nice and free from scandal?
Or do viewers want controversy? Do they want sexism? Do they want someone who thinks he is holier than pretty much anyone else on the planet?
In other words: Do they want Luke Parker?
We know, we know; Parker sucks. He proved himself to be a misogynistic narcissist throughout his run on Hannah Brown's ongoing season of The Bachelorette.
But let's also face it: scandal sells. Controversy sells. Vanilla does not draw ratings.
This is why we've posed the following question to our staff members:
SHOULD LUKE PARKER BE THE NEXT BACHELOR?
Before you scoff at the notion, ask yourself whether you'd tune in to see what a season with Parker at the helm would be like. Because that's the only issue ABC executives are debating right now.
Will folks actually watch?
We can't say for certain, but we can say the following about the possibility:
Why Not by Tyler Johnson
Look, I agree with everyone else that Mike Johnson deserves to be the next Bachelor, and he would probably be the most charismatic selection in the show’s history.
And I also agree that Luke Parker is a sociopath, a pathological liar, a manipulator, and a narcissist.
He’s frighteningly quick to anger, and some of his behavior toward Hannah this season arguably constituted psychological abuse.
But at the same time, I don’t think any figure on either side of the rose stand has ever kept me glued to my screen quite as effectively as Luke P.
I’m not proud of it, either -- but the show’s grown more than a little stagnant over the course of 15 seasons, and apparently, it needed a dash of evil to liven up the proceedings.
Of course, a little goes a long way when you’re talking about Luke, which is probably why God made him 5’4” in lifts.
Could Parker really anchor his own season of The Bachelor?
More importantly, could the casting department really round up 30 women who are willing to fight for this jackass’ affection?
The answer might be in a spinoff: The A-Hole Bachelorette, in which women who have proven themselves to be less than upstanding citizens (perhaps they’ve done time for a violent crime, or they have a Nickelback tattoo they don’t even regret) are offered someone like Luke as a consolation prize.
It may sound crazy, but given the recent allegations against series creator Mike Fleiss, truth in advertising laws might force the show to change its title to The A-Hole Bachelorette, anyway.
Might as well make it a whole theme and cast Luke.
Nope by Simon Delott
Obviously, you don't want every Bachelor to be the same. Mixing it up makes a lot of sense.
To wit: Arie was the one that nobody liked. Colton was a virgin himbo.
Luke Parker is polarizing, handsome... and fascinating enough that he overstayed his welcome for way too many episodes on Hannah's season.
But he's also a creep. Bonding with Hannah over their shared faith was great. He later tried to twist that around and control her. Not great.
In fact, you have to wonder if any dude who seems to have trouble making friends or getting along with fellow human beings should be considered for leading man.
Luke Parker may be a sexist pig, but would he make an entertaining Bachelor? Vote now! View Poll »
Luke's behavior resonated in a bad way with a lot of viewers. This is a fact.
Scores of women took to social media to reflect upon how his red flags matched up with those of their exes.
The Bachelor is supposed to be about finding love, not your fight-or-flight response going off out of worry for the women on screen.
ABC has the resources to find another guy who's topical and has a nice jawline who isn't going to behave like a Lifetime movie villain.
We all enjoy drama and big personalities, but casting Luke as the leading man just seems indecent.
No by Hilton Hater
I would have been in favor of this idea up until Luke's very last episode.
As my esteemed colleagues above have pointed out, Parker acted like a sexist pig nearly every week -- but the truth is that sexist pigs exist in the world. It would actually have been fascinating to see how one reacted to life as The Bachelor.
Could we actually have witnessed some kind of transformation while he was surrounded by beautiful, intelligent women?
Could this have been an opportunity for Luke to evolve and realize the errors of his awful ways?
Could The Bachelor have opened up the eyes of The Bachelor himself and, most importantly, could Luke really have remained celibate until marriage when presented with the keys to the Fantasy Suite?
We'll never know because ABC will never select Luke as The Bachelor.
And this is now clearly the right decision.
I cringed when Luke cast actual blame and guilt on Hannah for sleeping with two other suitors.
I rolled my eyes he said that he saw something in Hannah the moment he noticed her on Colton's season of this ABC franchise.
I wanted to straight up punch him he later wrote that he tried to bring glory to God by appearing as one of her contestants.
In this final moments and these new social media messages, Luke went from being an A-Hole who would make for entertaining television... to simply being an abusive crazy person.
Placing him front and center on The Bachelor would be unethical and a total slap to the face of women everywhere.
It would also be a misguided notion by Chris Harrison and his fellow producers.
Luke was tailor made this season to be the side player that fans love to hate. But you know what happens when you try to turn a side player into a star attraction, don't you?
You get the sitcom Joey.