Karrueche Tran says she truly loved Chris Brown - heck, she still truly loves Chris Brown - but there's no going back after everything he's put her through.
Baring her soul on OWN's Iyanla: Fix My Life last night, Tran gave her first interview since learning her beau impregnated another woman, Nia Guzman.
According to Karrueche, she found out about Brown's daughter Royalty - born nine months ago - the same way most of us did, "through social media."
She describes that painful moment to life coach Iyanla Vanzant:
"He wanted to talk in person. Actually, the moment that I found out, he was texting me saying, 'I need to talk to you in person.' Then I get online and I see …"
A clearly emotional Karrueche vowed to never take him back.
"There ain't no making up right now. There's no making up."
Tran added that Chris has "said he's sorry. He's dropped flowers off. He's sorry for everything. He's sorry for what he's put me through." Still not enough.
It's not like this was the first time he's put her through emotional hell, although it is probably the toughest blow. For Tran, it's been four years of this.
She's stuck by his side through controversies and legal problems galore - including a months-long stint in jail - and an epic love triangle with his ex Rihanna.
Why would she even get involved with this character given his history?
"I was under the impression that [Rihanna] was a friend type of ... not a friend, but it wasn't what it became," she said of Chris' relationship with the singer.
Karrueche's jaw dropped on Christmas Day 2012 when she was at Brown's condo ... and she saw photos of him cozying up to RiRi at the Lakers game.
"I didn't want to believe it," she said. "I loved him. I've never dated a celebrity, I've never been in the light that way, so I didn't know what to expect."
"When I first met him, he was nice and charming and I wanted to love him."
"To be a friend, to be different than all these other girls who would sleep with him ... girls who are gonna go crazy, or people who are just gonna use him."
"I didn't want it to be that, I wanted it to be different, and that's how it was. I made him wait a couple months. That's not what he's used to," she said.
"I can count on my hand how many guys I've slept with in my life, swear to God," the 26-year-old model said on OWN. "I don't just give myself."
But she did to Chris, and now she's paying the price for it emotionally.
"I still love him. I've tried to help him," she said. "Go to church, pray, yoga, meditate. If he wanted to change, we'd be in a better place. But that's the problem."
"He is damaged but," she concedes, "I'm damaged too."