Chris Brown was born in 1989, which means he can't even buy beer, and he even looks closer to like 11. But man, this R&B singer can...
Earlier this week, fans rejoiced at the glorious news that Rihanna had welcomed her first child.
Ever since the pop icon revealed her pregnancy back in January, her army of devoted supporters gave been awaiting the big day with bated breath, and they can't wait to receive updates about the RiRi's new addition.
Back in January, Chris Brown was sued for drugging and raping an unidentified woman on a yacht owned by music producer Sean "Diddy" Combs.
The alleged incident occurred in December of 2020.
Chris Brown has been sued a woman who claims he drugged and raped her at a gathering on a yacht in December 2020.
According to TMZ, the alleged victim goes by Jane Doe in the legal paperwork.
As we all know, Chris Brown loves to allegedly beat women.
In a not-so-shocking turns of events, meanwhile, we've now learned that Brown has no real interest in beating back COVID-19.
Lizzo has become a major name in the music world largely based on the success of her track "Truth Hurts."
It's a pretty great jam.
At times, it seems that no matter how many times Chris Brown is arrested or accused of the unspeakable, he never learns.
The notorious douchecanoe is accused of striking a woman in his home.
It sounds like the premise for an extremely dark romantic comedy.
He's one of the most reviled public figures of his time, and she's the second-most beloved singer of the 21st century (Beyonce still exists, after all) -- but somehow they make it work!
The moment that Rihanna broke up with Hassan Jameel, he world collectively held its breath. We all knew that her worst ex would speak up.
Now, Chris Brown is again talking about "love," and everyone knows who it's about. It's like clockwork, if clocks belonged in prison.
Well, it's always good news when a healthy baby enters the world.
Of course, when said baby belongs to Chris freakin' Brown it's natural for that joy to be tempered with a little bit of trepidation.
Eminem has made a career out of pushing the envelope with provocative lyrics that test the limits of acceptable speech.
Fans have grown accustomed to this approach, and like other holdovers from the early 2000s such as Family Guy and South Park, the rapper has often been given a pass in situations where other artists would be forced to publicly apologize.
Congratulations are in order for Chris Brown.
And prayers are needed for the little boy or girl who is about to grow up with Chris Brown as a father.
We're never exactly shocked by news that Chris Brown has engaged in some manner of douchey behavior.
However, it's pretty surprising that the guy hasn't learned to be a bit more private about his douchebaggery.
It's been a while since we last checked in on Chris Brown, but if we were beginning to doubt that he's still the worst, Breezy's latest Instagram activity would be sufficient to convince us that he remains one of the douchiest human beings on the planet.
We probably don't need to remind you that Brown brutally beat Rihanna while the two of them were dating back in 2009.
As it turns out, Justin Bieber has it all wrong.
The singer recently opened up on Instagram about his struggle with mental health and how anxiety is destroying his life.
Chris Brown is a man so terrible that he easily loses the moral high ground to Offset.
So when the band Chvrches briefly mentioned that he has committed domestic violence, a fact not in dispute, he blew a gasket.
These days, it's extremely rare to encounter a news story that puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step.
So it's in that spirit that we present you the following joyous development:
Chris Brown has been publicly thirsting after Rihanna for a long time, now. But apparently, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
A new report says that the widely disliked rapper "lurks" on RiRi's social media.
This explosive feud between Offset and Chris Brown started over a 21 Savage meme.
Now, it's personal, and Offset is calling out Chris for his appalling record of domestic violence.
You guys, we're starting to think Chris Brown may have an anger problem.
No, really. We think this really could be the case.
So just in case you've been able to block out all the awful stories coming out about Chris Brown lately, you should know that last week, he was arrested for rape.
You should also let us know how you managed to block out Chris Brown news, because that sounds like a delightful skill.
Earlier this week, Chris Brown was arrested for rape in Paris.
While no reasonable person actually thinks that Chris Brown might be a good person ... but some wonder what exactly happened.
Earlier this week, Chris Brown was arrested on rape charges in Paris.
The singer was detained along with two members of his entourage after a woman claimed she was assaulted by Brown and his friends in a hotel room.
Chris Brown has shared a new photo of himself posing with fans in Paris, just days after he was arrested in that city on a charge of suspected rape.
This, of course, begs the question:
