Reality TV is in its late-summer doldrums.
That means, of course, that Bachelor in Paradise is still plodding along and trying to drum up interest in the stoned ramblings of John Paul Jones and other millennial hotties who were allegedly on the franchise before and whose names we forget in between episodes.
But Bachelor Nation knows that as the days get shorter and the temperatures cool down, it's time to put away the swimsuits and break out the formal wear.
Yes, another season of The Bachelor is almost upon us, and even though producers haven't made an official announcement yet, we now know the identity of the man who will be handing out the roses.
As you're probably aware, fan favorite "Big" Mike Johnson has been the frontrunner ever since he was sent home by Hannah "Beast" Brown.
But we're afraid we have some bad news for all you MJ enthusiasts out there. Johnson won't be handing out the roses in 2020.
In a shocking turn of events, the Bachelor brass have decided to pass on what would seemingly be a great pick in Big Mike ...
... in favor of the Windmill Man himself.
Yes, according to Bachelor spoiler god Reality Steve, Peter Weber will star in The Bachelor's 24th (!!!) season this fall.
"(SPOILER): When the 'Bachelor' announcement is officially made (guessing next week or the following), it will be Peter Weber," Steve tweeted this week.
"Not too surprising. That’s who I’ve said I thought it would be for the last month. This isn’t isn’t a guess, a prediction, or 'most likely.'"
If you're not familiar with Reality Steve, dude is basically the unchallenged authority when it comes to Bachelor/Bachelorette spoilers.
He was the first to tell the world that Hannah would pick Jed over Tyler Cameron on this summer's finale, and now, he's saying with absolute certainty that Pilot Peter is your new Bachelor.
Weber's boyish good looks and easy-going demeanor endeared him to fans on The Bachelorette; Pete was widely praised for his handling of the constant barrage of douchiness from Luke Parker.
But of course, even if he finds love on The Bachelor, Weber is liable to be best remembered as the guy who banged Hannah in the windmill during their Fantasy Suite date.
Hannah later revealed on the season finale that the two of them went at it four times, as Peter's parents creepily applauded their son's cocksmanship.
Now, it looks like thrusting his lance in a windmill (so to speak) has earned Peter more than just the nickname "Don Quixote."
It's probably that memorable moment that broke the tie in his favor and convinced producers to name Weber the next Bachelor.
Like so many of you, we were a little bummed they didn't go with Mike - but we're not terribly surprised.
Johnson himself said that Weber would be the "safe choice" for the gig.
Furthermore, Mike's appearance on Bachelor in Paradise was a pretty soild indication that he wouldn't be the man of the hour next season.
On the bright side, if Mike's feeling down, he can always console himself by hollering at Demi Lovato.
As for Peter, here's hoping those rumors about Weber having a girlfriend, pictured above, back home while romancing Hannah don't come back to haunt him
In the meantime, our sincere congrats go out to him.
We look forward to seeing whether he finds the love of his life, or at the very least, what sort of old-timey structures he'll get it on in this season!
Check out some of the reactions to this bombshell casting news in the gallery below.