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With a family like this, who needs enemies?

Meghan Markle’s dad enjoys humiliating the royals — he said so himself. Meanwhile, her sister Samantha says it’s Meghan’s fault if their dad dies, somehow.

Now her brother is claiming that Meghan is being turned into a zombie by the Royal family — his words.

Meghan Markle Unhappy

We already talked about how Thomas Markle Jr. sent a letter to the Queen in which he seemed to intimate that Meghan’s new royal life might lead to her premature death.

Now, RadarOnline got their hands on some more of Thomas Markle Jr.’s writing — to the Queen.

"Meghan & Harry look very much in love and happy together," Thomas Jr. admits.

That’s better, at least, than what her dad says to any tabloid that will listen. He says that her smile is fake and hides some secret pain, blah blah blah.

Thomas Jr. ruins it immediately by saying: "although Meghan [is] living under your rules and Royal household regulations."

Oh, of course.

The New Duchess

This is where it gets worse.

"I think," Thomas Jr. says. "Meg may feel like she’s being held prisoner."

We know that being royalty is referred to as a gilded cage, but … this is absurd.

He writes that he worries that Meghan feels that she is both trapped "and turning into a zombie."

That is not only totally unfounded — seemingly based upon his imagination and perhaps some very bad fanfiction — but totally over-the-top.

Meghan Markle at Wimbledon

Speaking of totally unproven accusations, Thomas Jr. has more to say about what is allegedly making Meghan unhappy.

He writes that Meghan is afflicted by "the tension from Camila [sic] toward her."

So now we’re to believe that she’s feuding with her stepmother-in-law?

"And," Thomas Jr. writes. "Also being treated different than Kate."

Kate is bearing offspring who are directly in line for the throne. Meghan knew that from the start. Most of these alleged conflicts seem to exist in Thomas Jr.’s mind.

Meghan Markle: An Image

"The pressure on Meg," Thomas writes. "Has got to be overwhelming."

You know what would really take some pressure off of Meghan’s shoulders?

If her entire shameful nightmare of a family would stop leaping at every opportunity to drag her through the mud.

These messages are, at least in part, a very clear cry for attention from their royal relative.

If they would, perhaps, shut the f–k up for a while, maybe Meghan would speak to them.

But if she never spoke to the people who seek to humiliate her and ruin her happiness again, we would very much understand it.

Meghan Markle Pink Dress

Now, Meghan Markle may break royal protocol from time to time. 

First of all, that’s normal. She’s still learning. She’s an American and very new to the royal lifestyle.

Second of all, there’s never been any confirmation of rumors that she’s hated. We talk about alleged feuds with Kate, but we haven’t seen proof.

In fact, by all accounts, it sounds like she really gets along well with the Queen. That’s no surprise — she’s married to the Queen’s grandson.

It’s fine for people to enjoy imagining an American woman marrying into the royal family and finding that it’s a nightmare. Write that down. Sell your script. Make a TV series.

But don’t try to sabotage your own sister’s (or daughter’s) happiness just because, after you’ve proven that you’re untrustworthy, she doesn’t return your calls.