Meghan Markle is happily married to a literal prince, but her disgruntled father Thomas Markle feels like she's been stolen.
His constant speaking to the press is distressing to Meghan and the Royals, but it sounds like Thomas is starting to enjoy making them uncomfortable.
That's not speculation -- he comes right out and says it. Take a look.
No one gets to choose their parents, folks.
Even though he had already given what was allegedly his "last interview," Thomas Markle spoke to TMZ to warn the Royal Family that he's not going away.
"I was silent for a full year," Thomas says.
"And the press beat me up every day," he laments. "Saying I was a hermit hiding in Mexico."
It sounds like he is one of those people who has been consumed by media coverage and speculation instead of just ignoring it for his daughter's sake.
"So," Thomas explains. "I gave my story."
Obviously, Meghan and her new in-laws haven't been thrilled that he's just saying whatever comes to mind and getting paid for interviews.
"Apparently," Thomas says. "That interview put the royal family in their silence mode. …"
That would be a cue for a good parent to clam up if he values the relationship with his daughter. Thomas chose a different path.
"So," Thomas describes. "I gave another interview to break the silence."
If your actions are upsetting someone, you usually want to stop that behavior instead of ramping it up.
But, as Thomas explains, he is effectively blackmailing his daughter's family into contacting him.
"All they have to do is speak to me," he offers.
"Tomorrow is my birthday," Thomas continues to TMZ.
He reminds folks that he is "74 years old."
"And," he says. "I’m enjoying the fact that I can make the entire royal family not speak."
What kind of sadistic glee is he getting out of this?
"And maybe," he imagines. "I can get a laugh out of the duchess."
Meghan is part of that family -- and his behavior is putting her in an impossible position.
Does she speak with him to buy his silence ... or is that letting the terrorists win, so to speak?
A source close to the Royals tells Entertainment Tonight that Thomas Markle hasn't been in touch with them.
The source explains that Meghan and Harry "haven't had any contact" with Thomas during his little interview spree.
"[They] are frustrated he keeps speaking to the tabloids," the insider explains. "And taking payment for interviews"
"The phone number that I call doesn't work anymore," Thomas Markle himself said in an interview with The Sun.
"The, I guess, liaison with the royal family never answers back," Thomas complains. "And there's no address I can write to, so I have no way of contacting my daughter."
"My message would be, 'I love you, I miss you, I'm sorry for anything that went wrong,'" he claims.
"And I want to be her child's grandfather and I want to be near them," Thomas begs. "I want to be a part of their life."
Thomas Markle also blabbed some claims that Meghan is terrified and miserable.
"My thing about my daughter right now," he alleges. "Is that I think she is terrified."
"I see it in her eyes," he claims. "I see it in her face and I see it in her smile."
“I’ve seen her smile for years," Thomas says. "I know her smile. I don’t like the one I’m seeing now."
According to Thomas: "This one isn’t even a stage smile -- this is a pained smile."
Some people cannot resist digging the hole even deeper.
You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your friends.
Meghan's friend Priyanka Chopra tells People that Meghan is loving married, royal life.
"She’s doing amazing," Priyanka reports. "It’s so nice to see."
Priyanka, as you may recall, was also a guest at the royal wedding. Unlike Thomas, who skipped his daughter's wedding for vague reasons.
It sounds like, if you ever (in a fit of adolescent frustration) told your parents that they were the most embarrassing parents on the planet, you might owe them an apology.
That title may belong to Thomas Markle.