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After a tumultuous first four episodes of the fall, what wild and crazy ISH went down Monday night on Teen Mom OG Season 3 Episode 5?

Watch Teen Mom OG Season 3 Episode 5 Online
Watch Teen Mom OG Season 3 Episode 5 Online

On the latest installment of the MTV franchise, the fab four went through highs and lows as always – some more profound than others.

Speaking of profound moments, ladies and gentlemen:

“You know what I wonder? If the earth is a circle, how does the water always stay? Gravity?” Farrah Abraham said, dropping serious knowledge.

“But the water is a little bit more heavier than gravity.” 

“I love when clouds touch mountains or whatever.”

Apropos of nothing, but we couldn’t not include that. 

If you watch Teen Mom OG online, you know that Farrah and Simon Saran have had a tumultuous relationship to say the very least.

Well, Teen Mom OG Season 3 Episode 5 was no exception as Simon flew to Hawaii to make up and make out with her post-Easter Gate.

Of course, nothing with Farrah is every that easy.

Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran: 2016 MTV Movie Awards

The trip was an total bust, for a variety of reasons.

Simon and his sometime porn star GF promptly got into it about how “fake” the other one is, and he ended up getting ditched on the curb.

Seriously. Along with his “day bag.”

Asked if she’s in love with Simon, Farrah responded, “I don’t think I need to be concerned of if I love someone right now.”

“It’s more or less repairing what was already started. And it’s slowly getting there. But I’m like, why isn’t it there already?”

A very good, and deep question.

Simon and Farrah may not last, but he recently said Farrah is a great mom, so it looks like they’ve made up, if not made out, recently.

Elsewhere, Amber Portwood’s boyfriend Matt Baier, threw her surprise party for the big 2-6. As in the number of years she’s been alive.

Not his total number of children.

Sorry. Low blow? Too soon?

In all seriousness, it was a good time as daughter Leah came along with Amber’s old cellmate, Nicole, who is also out of prison now.

Nicole is the only other member of their prison crew to make it out to the real world, so this was a big deal for Ambs and rightfully so.

“She was my best friend,” Amber said. “And we’re actually the only two out of our friends who have made it and haven’t went back in.”

Portwood’s prison days seem a distant memory lately, and that’s to her credit and she really has turned her life around in every sense.

Still, personal struggles remain.

“We all have different problems on this show, but for some odd reason, I’m so depressed,” she revealed. “I’m bipolar and manic depressive.”

“I’m borderline personality. I’m diagnosed with every single one of those. I’m on my medications for it,” Amber added, but she cautioned:

Given her problems with drug abuse in the past, her medications are non-narcotics and they are closely monitored, so that’s a relief.

We wish her the best. Poor girl.

Maci Bookout: Overwhelmed By Wedding Plans?!

Maci Bookout and Taylor McKinney just bought a house, but now they’re buying a new one due to the whole unexpected third pregnancy.

Taylor also got a tattoo of their unborn baby’s name (Maverick), which begged the question of what happens if he turns out to be a girl.

Sonograms, or the technicians reading them, have been wrong before, so it’s not far-fetched. Maci’s take on this hilarious hypothetical?

“Ryan was supposed to be a girl.”

“Not f–king surprising at all.”


What a D

Finally, Catelynn Lowell went to rehab for mental health treatment, and Tyler Baltierra was in shambles, literally pained for his spouse.

“[She’s] like a log just rolling through days,” he told Teen Mom: OG producers, reflecting on how Cate needs help and telling his wife:

“You’re not f–ked up, honey. Things happen.”

“As long as we don’t mask it no more, and we fix it,” he said, everything will be alright, and Catelynn seemed to take all that to heart. 

“I probably wont come home and smoke [pot],” she said. “Actually, I should just start saying I wont come home and smoke ever again.”

“I feel like I’m a crack addict or something.”

Not a crack addict, but getting help is never a bad thing when you’re struggling. As Tyler said, things happen, and we’re all in it together.