Last night on Vanderpump Rules, Stassi Schroeder finally gave fans the story on her sex tape, and - spoiler alert - there was drama.
Picking up where last week left off, Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 14 saw Stassi make her long-awaited (dreaded?) return.
The impetus for her visit was to repay her boss for keeping the Stassi Schroeder sex tape from leaking, which apparently happened.
According to reports, Stassi FaceTimed with a former lover (not Jax Taylor) and showed her face while masturbating on camera.
Hot? Not? That's subjective, but the dude tried to sell the footage for $900 - until Lisa Vanderpump bought the footage and erased it.
That's right, Lisa actually intervened to squash this thing.
Naturally, Stassi tried to give her back the $900 last night, as if that's what motivates her or would make her like Stassi again.
Lisa refused to take it, calling it an “insult” and tearing into Stassi for calling her an “old woman” and dissing the staff publicly.
She's "not important enough to hate," as Lisa put it, but she's definitely worthy of being kicked the f--k out. Burn, Stassi. Burn.
At least she found a temporary home in Kristen’s apartment, after Ms. Doute booted her Stage 5 Clinger boyfriend to the curb.
Also on this installment of the Bravo hit, Jax Taylor had to answer to the court - and Lisa - after being arrested in Hawaii for shoplifting.
Naturally, Lisa was unhappy to learn that she had someone labeled a liar, a drunk, and a thief working for her businesses.
In other news, has Lisa never met Jax f--king Taylor?
Meanwhile, James Kennedy and Lala Kent could not keep their hands off each other at a racy photo shoot, to the dismay of viewers.
Seriously, who wants to watch James? Finally, Scheana and Shay toasted to their first year of marriage - rocky as it was at times.
Naturally, they celebrated with many cocktails - hey, you can just go out and get a good buzz on but not get s--tfaced, right Shay?