Vanderpump Rules has brought us so much joy, sex, pain, heartbreak, sex and cringe-worthy awkwardness (and sex) over five seasons.
As we embrace the new season, which just began in epic fashion, here are some of the hit show’s most memorable moments … GIF style!
She’s Motorboating D–ks …
Scheana Marie recalls a rumor (spread by Jax) re: Katie Maloney motorboating d–ks at one point. We always felt that the act motorboating applied primarily, if not exclusively, to female breasts, but we have now officially been enlightened by Vanderpump Rules. No sexist double standards here!
Stassi Schroeder Hits Kristen Doute
Stassi Schroeder open hand slaps Kristen Doute on Vanderpump Rules. It was such an epic moment, it’s worth watching on endless loop.
You’re 31 Years Old!
James Kennedy hits Tom Sandoval where it hurts. Then gets literally hit in response.
B!tch Go the F–k Home!
Ariana Madix sums up what we’re thinking so many times when we watch Vanderpump Rules.
We Are Deffo Boning!!
James Kennedy is excited about getting it in. Of course, later he will be trashing his girlfriend of choice in public, but whatever. Carpe diem.
LaLa Goes to Town
LaLa Kent is so perpetually, unabashedly horny it’s ridiculous. And we love her for that.
Tom Sandoval Sums Up Kristen Doute
Tom Sandoval assesses Kristen’s strengths. She’s a talented lady.
Ring on a String
Yeah. Epic fail by Tom Schwartz on that one. Guy means well when it comes to Katie Maloney but is just so awkward.
Kristen Doute Drinking
Kristen doing what she does best. If she could only get paid to booze…then she wouldn’t have to worry about getting fired from SUR!
Jax Taylor: Smacked With a Dildo
Jax Taylor takes a wang to the face. He seems okay with it.
Ariana Can’t Believe It
Neither can we … this is our reaction to most episodes of Vanderpump Rules.
Netflix and Chill!
LaLa Kent is definitely DTF on Tinder. Or in real life.
Insta-Fight
Stassi sums up Instagram beefs in the lamest way imaginable.
Get the F–k Over It
Ariana Madix spells out where things stand matter-of-factly on Vanderpump Rules.
Awk. Ward.
Peter Madrigal and Vail Bloom went on the awkwardest date of all time in Season 3. In fairness to both … the other made it pretty awkward too.
Stassi vs. Scheana Marie
Stassi places an order with Scheana. Ironically, Scheana is the one who got served.
Not Anymore!
Saying it over and over again won’t make it true Kristen.
Tom Schwartz on Lisa Vanderpump
Tom expresses his thoughts on Lisa. We’re sure most of the SUR staff feels the same.
Ariana Madix Feels the Nausea
So many moments on this show could’ve inspired exactly this reaction.
Jax is Out of His Mind
Seriously. The guy has actual mental problems. For real.
We Had Sex! We Had Sex!
Miami Girl, a.k.a. AnneMarie Kunkel, makes her version of events known to Tom Sandoval, who denies this.
Stassi Schroeder: Suck One!
Stassi delivers one of her classic burns. The girl knows her way around an insult.
You Know What I Mean?!
You know what I mean brah?! Oh yes, Tom Sandoval. We always do.
Katie Maloney is Pumped Up
Katie Maloney of Vanderpump Rules fame is pumped. See what we did there?
LaLa Says What We’re All Thinking
You can’t fault LaLa Kent for her assessment of James Kennedy here.
Stassi Schroeder’s Terrifying Threat
Stassi’s insanely detailed threats might be the best part of Vanderpump Rules. Even if they make us question her sanity.
No Words Needed
This pretty much sums up our reaction to every minute of every episode.
Probably
You should probably put a lid on it. Katie Maloney could be speaking to any one of her co-stars with this profound statement.
Kristen Got Fired, Bro!
Kristen Doute got fired from SUR in the third season of Vanderpump Rules. It was a joyous day for all.
Scheana Shay-king It!
Vanderpump Rules Scheana Marie Shay lives up to her last name … kinda sorta. Also she and Mike may be separating which is really sad.
I’m Sorry You Heard That …
I’m sorry you heard that … says Jax Taylor, who most likely said exactly whatever it is he is now lying about and believes is just a case of someone “hearing” a rumor.
Stassi to Jax: You’re a Douche!
Stassi speaks the truth to Jax. Say what you will about her, the girl is honest.
Not the Best Singer
That may be the understatement of all time by Scheana Marie.
Lisa Vanderpump Calls It Like It Is
Lisa Vanderpump lays down the law with Kristen. It’s about time somebody did!
Stassi on Scheana’s Wedding Dress
Stassi assesses Scheana’s wedding dress. Needless to say, she doesn’t care for it.
Babe, Uh, Tom …
Kristen Doute is totally over Tom Sandoval. Totally.
Stassi is Always Right
Don’t you forget it. Stassi Schroeder is the HBIC … or so she thinks.