Madonna SLAMS Fifty Shades of Grey: You Call THAT Sex?!?

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Madonna has joined the chorus of those coming down hard on Fifty Shades of Grey.

But Madonna's Fifty Shades of Grey review doesn't focus on the stiff acting, the poor chemistry between leads Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson or any lack of intriguing storytelling.

Instead, it hones it on the one thing Madonna knows very well: SEX.

Madonna Grammys Outfit
Fifty Shades of Grey Poster: One Year.

“It’s pulp fiction," Madonna told Billboard of the book on which the film is based. "It’s not very sexy, maybe for someone who has never had sex before. I kept waiting for something exciting and crazy to happen in that red room thing, and I was like, "'Hmm, a lot of spanking.'"

Madonna also had a very specific, very NSFW take on various scenes depicted in the novel.

"I thought, ‘This is so unrealistic because no guy goes down on a girl that much.’ I’m sorry, but no one eats p-ssy as much as the guy in that book.”

That's certainly a different reason for hating on Fifty Shades of Grey, huh?

Asked whether her views on sex have changed in the past few decades, Madonna gave another typically awesome Madonna answer:

"Absolutely not. Nope. Sex is a wonderful, necessary part of life."

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