We're kidding, of course. Jessica is not really suicidal.
Just the same, after reading this article, Papa Joe Simpson might want to take away her belts and shoelaces just to be extra cautious. It could get ugly.
If being needy and clingy and having a coyote devour her dog weren't bad enough, Jessica Simpson's ex-husband is back together with his ex-girlfriend.
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have been taking their PDA parade nationwide lately, hooking up in L.A., NYC and for the last three nights, Las Vegas!
On Saturday night, the two checked out singer Matt Goss' new show at the Palms Casino Resort, where Kim Kardashian even sang and danced on stage.
Nick and 'Nessa: Hottest couple ever? Quite possibly?
Not about to call it an early night, Nick and Vanessa were later seen partying and dancing until the wee hours with Wilmer Valderrama at nightclub LAX.
On Sunday, they watched the New York Giants battle with the Dallas Cowboys (they of Jessica's other ex Tony Romo) at First Food & Bar in the Palazzo.
They obviously liked First Food & Bar. They returned last night to watch Monday Night Football and dine on Grandma's Pizza and ice cream sandwiches.
Wow, back-to-back nights at a sports bar? Vanessa Minnillo sounds like the coolest, most laid-back chick ever. Quite a contrast from pathetic Jessica.