You know that thing Jenelle Evans does where she goes out of her way to make herself into the victim at any given opportunity?
Yeah, you know.
Another thing she likes to do is make anything and everything about her - regardless of whether it's about her or it's her own fault.
You're probably familiar with that character trait, too. The former Teen Mom 2 star has never been accused of being inauthentic;
Unfortunately, authentic Jenelle comes with a lot of baggage, and in this new interview, our girl was in rare form. Even for her.
You gotta see this ...
To Say the Least
Jenelle Evans ... well, the girl certainly had an interesting summer, and not like that girl from your office had an interesting summer.
It all started back when her deranged spouse, David Eason, killed her dog and set off a firestorm online and a chain reaction of events that are still playing out on The Land and beyond.
You remember how it all happened, but we'll remind you anyway. Nugget, Jenelle's little French bulldog, nipped at Ensley because no one taught the kid how to interact with animals and no one did anything to intervene when Nugget was getting very obviously agitated at Ensley's rough playing.
Nugget didn't break the skin when she nipped at her - Ensley's cheek was barely even red after the "attack" - but still, David thought it was appropriate to end the animal's life as punishment. And not in humane fashion, either. Dude grabbed the dog, threw her outside, grabbed a shotgun and pumped her full of lead.
During a recent PR blitz launched to boost her (failed) cosmetics line, Jenelle tried to spin this as well as anyone could, dubiously claiming that hey, that's just the way David was raised! He's a country boy and a lot of people don't understand that! Maybe so, to a point, but the thing is that shooting a dog for behaving like a dog is pretty much universally not OK.
So after David killed Nugget, police opened an investigation, and local Child Protective Services personnel removed the kids from the home.
Nothing much came of it all - despite tons of people hoping that Jenelle and David would finally face consequences for their actions, they got all of their kids back and the investigation was closed without so much as a slap on the wrist.
For the past few weeks, Jenelle and David have felt comfortable enough to open up about everything - for example, they did an interview in which David actually teared up and cried about how he regretted all that had happened.
And now we have a new interview from Jenelle in which she throws herself a great big pity party. What else is new, right? This one is a doozy though, even for her.
What a Nightmare - Literally
She spoke with Hollywood Life about her experience with CPS and the court case, and if you can even believe it, she said that “Sometimes, like I said, I have bad dreams of CPS coming, knocking on my door and saying, ‘Give me your kids,’ just for no reason."
“I’ve been trying to my best to just be the best mom I can," she added, presumably without irony, adding that the incident has left her scarred. "So it just gives me PTSD.”
Look, there's a whole lot to unpack here, and an encyclopedia of things we could say about Jenelle, but we could spend all day talking about just that one little quote, right? Because it's a tiny little roller coaster all on its own.
So Many Questions
Does this mean that she truly, honestly thinks that when CPS came knocking, they did so "just for no reason"? For real? As if this is something that just happens to people in life?
Just So Many Questions
We could believe she has PTSD from all the things she's been through over 27 hard years, but out of all those things, does she sincerely think the most traumatizing thing she's experienced are nightmares?
Like we said, there's so much to talk about in that one little quote, so let's push forward so we don't get stuck, all right? All right.
Jenelle was asked if she learned anything in the parenting classes she had to take during the custody case, and she said "I definitely did."
"I think the co-parenting one we did together as a private session for three hours, and the counselor we worked with works with a lot of different families, and having to deal with court a lot," she continued, and while that doesn't sound like a complete sentence or even a complete thought whatsoever, we double checked and yeah, she did say it.
“We told her basically, me and him co-parent good, but we don’t co-parent with the grandparents good. So we found different tools to deal with that and keep business-like attitudes and all that," she explained.
The grandparents she's talking about are of course Barbara, who's always has custody of Jace, and we imagine, Doris, Nathan's mother - she's the one who supervises Nathan's visits with Kaiser. We know things have been going better between them and Barb, and we can only hope they really are getting along better with Doris, too.
Here We Go
As for David's anger management classes, also required by the court, she said “David, with anger management, he just expressed his feelings about how angry he gets when people just try to trigger him, and he’s not mad all the time."
No Big Deal
She added that the counselor "wrote up a whole document saying, ‘I just think this CPS case is making David very irritable right now, and he’s not irritable towards everyone, but when the social worker comes over and has an attitude with you, David gets an attitude back.'”
Sounds About Right
Because David is a child and he can't control his temper, so nobody better "try to trigger him" or he will be forced to shoot a dog or assault someone, is that it? That's what they learned? That makes sense to them?
And Then This
On a lighter note, Jenelle posed for some photos for Hollywood Life to go along with the interview. She shared some on Instagram and captioned them "#LoveYourself, no matter what," with an extra "#curves" hashtag. Wow. Just wow.
Because she's gained a little bit of weight, get it? Some people have been making fun of her, so she's saying that despite all that, she still loves herself. Hashtag curves and all. (Like this is a real issue people have with Jenelle Evans.)
Sorry, But ...
We're happy for her if she loves the way she looks now ... but it would be even better if she loved herself enough to get away from David and put in some work on that PTSD she mentioned earlier. Just saying.