There’s been much talk about the need for common sense gun control laws in recent weeks.
Most Americans think the time to act is now, before more innocent lives are lost in mass shootings.
Then you have your David Eason types who think it’s their God-given right to threaten politicians with military-grade assault weapons.
Now, it’s probably very difficult for David to buy a gun these days, what with the president-threatening posts and his recent decision to murder Jenelle Evans’ French bulldog with a freakin’ shotgun.
But Eason’s got a plan B — and he wants you to know he can still do plenty of murderin’ when he wants to.
Take a look:
The Mad Man
If there’s one thing that David Eason loves more than killing, it’s the weapons he uses for said killing.
Gun Nut
Like most violent Americans, Eason’s weapon of choice is the firearm, but you get one visit from the Secret Service, execute one beloved family pet, and rack a dozen or so arrests, and suddenly, it’s hard to get your hands on new guns …
David Problems
David has two big problems these days — he’s been unemployed for 18 months, and no one wants to sell him a new boom stick because of his mile-long criminal record.
Man With a Plan
Fortunately, he may have just figured out a way to kill two birds with one inexpertly handmade weapon.
Here We Go Again …
Yes, David announced this week, that he’ll be selling handcrafted weapons online. There’s literally no way this can end badly!
This Freakin’ Guy
(Ed. note: If you’re interested in his products, we suggest you buy online and not approach David at home. He’s been known to violently threaten trespassers … even when they’re not really trespassing.)
David Make Words
David revealed his new business venture on social media this week … and the announcement was just as awkward as the knives themselves.
At Least He’s Doing SOMETHING!
“I think my first knife came out pretty well considering the fact I used absolutely no power tools,” David wrote this week alongside two photos in which he can be seen getting his blacksmith on.
Instead of TELLING Us What You Plan to Do …
“I didnt make a full video on forging the knife but I will make a video for the next one,” Eason continued.
Maybe You Should Just Do It?
“I’m thinking about making a handle for this knife and I will post a video If I decide to do that,” he added.
“Finishing Touches”
“This knife is extremely sharp but is not considered to be a novelty due to it’s high carbon content (HC),” David went on. “I have some finishing touches to do and will make a sheath for it also.”
Aaaand Here’s the Scheme …
“Stay tuned and subscribe to my YouTube to see the final product next week!” Eason concluded.
It All Makes Sense
There’s a reason that David is using still images and text to promote his YouTube channel … it’s the only thing he’s got going on.
As Dumb as He Seems?
Hand-forged knives made by someone with no real experience or training are not gonna bring in a ton of cash. Even David must know this.
The Grift
In all likelihood, he doesn’t care about finding customers for his crappy knife company — he just needs YouTube subscribers. And he needs them fast.
Custody Drama
You see, when David was fighting to regain custody of his kids following the dog execution incident, he told the judge that he doesn’t need a real job because he makes money from YouTube.
Big Whoops
The problem is, David didn’t have enough subscribers to qualify for the site’s ad revenue-sharing program — which means there’s no way his videos were bringing in a steady income.
Dave’s Dumb Idea
David’s desperation is obvious, and thankfully, commenters had a field day with his incredibly stupid plan.
Valid Question
“Great exactly what the world needs..swamp thing making homemade weapons. who will you experiment on first with them?!” wrote one follower.
The Jobless Dad
“This is the worst effin idea ever,” another person commented. “You should be NOWHERE near weapons. And they look like s—anyway. Money tight now that you both have 0 income? Get a real job.”
Never Forget!
“I love how he thinks everyone just forgot he murdered a 10 pound dog,” another commenter pointed out.
Dumb For So Many Reasons
In addition to the fact that David’s knife business will never bring in any real income, it’s the worst possible business venture for him to get involved with at the moment.
Always Something …
Eason has several court cases pending, including one in which he allegedly threatened a neighbor, and another in which he towed an elderly veteran’s truck out of a parking space without the man’s knowledge or permission.
Not Out of the Woods
On top of all that, David and Jenelle recently regained custody of their kids, but CPS is reportedly appealing the decision.
A History of Violence
And even before he got fired from Teen Mom 2, David was banned from the show’s annual reunion tapings due to an incident in which he drunkenly brandished a knife at a cast party.
WTF Is This Guy Thinking?
So yeah, this venture probably won’t sit well with the many judges David is due to face in the coming months.
Cool By Us …
But hey, we’re all for this guy needlessly inflicting more suffering on himself, so we say bring on the knives!