Sarah Herron is opening up about the awful realities of postpartum after losing her newborn son.
Late this past week, The Bachelor alum uploaded a photo of herself on Instagram in an adult diaper … one week after the death of her son Oliver Brown, who passed away shortly after she gave birth at 24 weeks pregnant.
“TW – Postpartum after pregnancy loss is still postpartum. I hadn’t gotten to the chapters on perinatal care yet or lactation support. I jumped from second trimester to fourth trimester overnight,” Herron opened on Friday.
The former reality star went on to divulge the numerous things she didn’t know she would still need, while also revealing that she didn’t expect her breast milk to come in, meaning she’s had to learn how to pump.
Despite having no baby to feed. Simply devastating.
“Suddenly my days that should be spent sampling belly oils and rubbing my bump are spent taking a crash course in postpartum relief through streaming tears,” she continued.
“I don’t want relief, I want my baby.”
Herron appeared on Sean Lowe’s season of The Bachelor in 2013, has been engaged to Dylan Brown since 2021 and announced her pregnancy last September.
“Since coming home without Oliver, everything has been a haunting reminder of what was supposed to be, and what I now must face without him here,” Herron wrote in her latest post.
“There is simply no way to prepare yourself for the subtle inconveniences of pregnancy that can suddenly, without warning, vanish.”
Harroe noted how heartbreaking it is to look in the mirror and be reminded there’s no longer a bump.
Herron said the “things I longed for during pregnancy” like a turkey sandwich and a glass of wine “feels like deep abandonment of my baby…
“And the things I loved during pregnancy; like berries (so many berries!) feels like cheating.”
She continued as follows:
“I never prepared for this, and no mother should have to. I understand why no doctor or book briefs you on the possibility of this torture [and] I don’t have a positive way to wrap this post up.
“It’s probably the second to the saddest thing I’ve ever shared.”
Herron is despondent, but not alone.
In a separate post, she wrote of her dog, Rio:
“He has not left my side in a week. He’s so sad, it breaks my heart.
“Why are dogs so magical? I can’t stop thinking about how he knew when we were in Bend, [Oregon] that Oliver wasn’t OK.
“We didn’t know, but he knew. I hate it so much. I’m so sorry he was scared.”
Sharing a selfie on her Instagram Story Friday, Herron explained the snapshot was from a week ago, writing along with it:
“It’s been one week. This was on our last morning all sitting together. It was the last morning that I got to soak in his big somersaults and hiccups. I want to go back.
“I’d give anything to go back to last Friday morning.”
“We miss and love you, baby boy.”