Things looked bleak for several toxic couples on the latest 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?
Kimberly Menzies’ attempt to win over Usman Umar’s mother had blown up in her face.
It was not her fault. How could she impress a woman who disapproved before they even met?
The proposed “compromise” was a non-starter for Kimberly. Usman knew that, but he still became angry — and insulted her.
On Season 7, Episode 9, Kimberly found herself trying to explain how her gift was not a “bribe.”
She felt offended and grew tearful at the accusations.
Obviously, both the stress of Usman’s family’s hostile rejection and the knowledge of how much sway they have over him also played a role.
We have seen a lot of toxic relatives attack a prospective partner on this franchise.
Usman did step up and defend Kimberly. He told them that she is a good person.
And Usman emphatically emphasized that Kimberly had good intentions. She bought a cow as a gift, not as a bribe.
This is when Usman’s family brought up that Kimberly could never give him children.
Sadly, they are not even the only couple on this season where toxic relatives have expressed feelings of entitlement to children.
Though Usman — like everyone — has the basic human right of reproductive autonomy, he is not even arguing with them. His plan has always been to have a second wife, and to have children through her.
Usman’s mother wants more than just a promise of children later.
His first wife, she instructs, should be young, fertile, and part of the Hausa ethnic group to which she and Usman belong.
Later, she “generously” allows, Usman could marry Kimberly or another middle-aged white American woman. If he must.
It turns out that Usman’s mother is yet another parent on this show who is overly concerned with what the neighbors are saying.
She admits to the camera that people around her “think my son is mixing with Americans” and will move to the US.
Usman and Kimberly do, in fact, plan to move him to America on the K-1 visa. But only if they can become engaged. And that requires his mom’s permission.
Usman’s mom hands down the ultimatum.
He has to marry a Hausa girl.
After that, he may do as he wishes. At best, Kimberly can become his second wife.
On the way home, Usman does his best to remain cheery.
He explains that he is trying to cheer up Kimberly and reassure her.
Meanwhile, she is recovering from a miserable encounter. It went even worse than they had feared, which is saying a lot.
But though “Sojaboy” wants to see Kimberly in good spirits, he also has to break the news to her.
Before kicking them out of the house, his mom made it very clear.
His first wife, she commanded, must be a young Hausa woman. Kimberly would have to come later.
Usman admits that he feels totally beholden to his mother in this.
This is a cultural expectation. Also, realistically and especially given his means as a “celebrity” rapper, this is a choice.
Simply put, Usman is unwilling to go against his mother’s wishes — even if it costs him Kimberly.
But neither of them are giving up.
He suggests that the two of them sleep and rest and revisit the issue tomorrow when they have clear heads.
Usman hopes that he will be able to come up with a solution.
The next day, Usman and Kimberly sit down for a talk.
Usman receives a manicure during the chat, and he and Kimberly note the price difference.
Kimberly’s nails cost about $150 to get done. (To be fair, though, they look absolutely amazing this season)
After a good night’s sleep, Kimberly seems to be at least a little more positive.
But she does make it clear that she will not, under any circumstances, be a second wife.
Her suggestion is that she and Usman tell his mother this, together. Once they relay their plans, they can go from there. Right?
But Usman says that Kimberly is being “disrespectful” for sticking to her established boundaries.
Once again, just as he insisted several episodes ago, Usman claims that Kimberly is not compromising as much as he is.
That’s right — we’re hearing Usman repeat the idea that he is making sacrifices by being with Kimberly.
According to Usman, the thirsty hotties in his DMs mean that he has lots of options.
His implication is that he has better prospects than Kimberly for moving on. Thus, somehow, he’s doing her a favor.
But when Usman notes that he could be with these “beautiful and sexy women” but chose to prioritize Kimberly instead, his insulting meaning is clear.
So, let’s get this straight.
Usman is prioritizing his mother’s demands. He is bragging about how many young hotties want his yammy.
And it sure sounds like Usman just aid that being with Kimberly is a sacrifice. To hear ears, it sounds like he just called her “ugly.”
Usman has bragged like this before. And he has insulted her to her face before.
Kimberly feels hurt, and she walks off.
Meanwhile, Usman just keeps going and going and going.
Usman does at least affirm that, if this is the end of their relationship, he will regret it.
But he adds that Kimberly will regret their breakup more than he does.
Why? Because his “DM is full with young beautiful rich ladies” yearning for his yammy, apparently.
How could any part of this be worthwhile for Kimberly?
Between Usman’s insults and how once-sided the relationship has felt, and now his mother’s opposition … this is a battle.
Even if Kimberly “wins,” what does she take home at the end? Usman. A man who has made it clear what he thinks of her.