Perhaps the headline above is a slight exaggeration.
But things did take a dark turn on The Bachelorette this week, with Tayshia Adams stunning viewers around the globe by sending home a fan favorite.
Before gettiing to that point, though, Tayshia Adams sat down with JoJo Fletcher, who was filling in as host for Chris Harrison because the latter had taken his son to college... and broken ABC Covid-19 protocol in the process.
Adams admitted to the former series lead that she was "falling for multiple people," yet was in no rush to get married.
"I'm not going to get engaged to someone just because it feels right in the moment," she explained.
Cut to the first one-on-one date -- which was with Zac C. and which, of course, featured the pair posing for photos in wedding attire.
Such an experience reminded Tayshia of her divorce, but it also made her feel pretty positive about the future.
Especially if it includes Zac.
"It didn't scare me," she said in an on-camera interview of the possibility of becoming Zac's wife. "It didn't scare me at all."
During the romantic dinner portion of the date, Zac opened way up to Tayshia about his past... which included suffering from a brain tumor just after college.
It also included a drinking problem that stemmed from his recovery and the pain medication he took for it, along with a marriage.
"I was hanging out with some sketchy people," Zac confessed to Tayshia, explaining that he went on to get arrested, got a DUI and was left by his wife.
"For the next eight months, it got pretty gnarly in a bad way. Scary," he continued. "It was touch and go. Moments of, 'I'm not sure if I'm going to make it to tomorrow.'"
After four-plus months in rehab, though, Zac now sits on the board of this same rehab facility -- and has quite the perspective on life.
"I believe in miracles. I shouldn't be sitting here," Zac told the camera.
"So if I know that I'm a miracle, then who's to tell me that I can't come on a TV show in the middle of a national pandemic and find love with someone as amazing as Tayshia?
"No one. I won't let them."
Zac earned a rose for his honest and his story in general, as Adams said to the suitor:
"I feel like you check a lot of the boxes of someone that I have been looking to be with in the sense of someone that's mature, someone that's comfortable with themselves, someone that's ambitious and is established."
Feeling great about Zac, Tayshia then embarked ona group date, challenging Spencer, Ivan, Ed, Blake, Brendan, Riley, Demar, Bennett, Ben and Noah to show off their artistic side, beginning by sketching a naked couple.
From there, they did some blindfolded clay sculpting, which Bennett used as an opportunity to kiss Tayshia in what he deemed a "50 shades of clay" moment.
For their self-portraits, meanwhile, the contestants dug deep, using these portraits as a chance to reveal a lot about themselves. To wit:
Ivan made a puzzle and talked about his dad's health struggles... Riley talked about missing out on quality time with his mom as a child... and Brendan invited Tayshia to see herself in his portrait.
As for Ben? He got naked.
"This is me showing up for you as myself," he told The Bachelorette.
"I'm going to give this all to you. This physical body and also everything inside.
"Because what you see is only just a small part of who I am. I'm so excited to share that with you."
Tayshia had to leave the room in response, breaking down in front of producers.
"I'm extremely overwhelmed right now. I was not expecting that at all," she said, adding: "This is what happens when you start dating real men."
Impressed by the vulnerability of these men, Adams told them she couldn't select just one for a rose.
At the after-party, Ben went even farther, telling Tayshia about his past eating disorder.
"I found out what girls were when I was 15," he began.
"I realized they don't like the fat kid. And so I stopped eating, started working out all the time. Lost like, 70 lbs. Had bulimia for like, 10 years and I was in my 20s.
"It's hard to hide something for so long."
Wow, huh? We said it was an emotional episode.
Ben earned the group date rose in the end for being so open, but then Tayshia went on her second one-on-one date of the week, with Eazy.
The two went ghost-hunting at the La Quinta Resort and then sat down for another revealing dinner.
"As much as I try to be macho and be like, 'Yo, it's too soon,' or whatever, I honestly feel like I'm falling in love with you," Eazy told her.
"And like, that's real and that's so strong and apparent and I can't lie about it. And I feel like with love, there is no time, there is no rules, there's no boundaries, there's no method.
"It just is. And you just know it and you feel it in your bones."
Adams, however, did not reciprocate these feelings.
"Unfortunately, I can't give you this rose because I'm not there where you are and I don't know if I can get there," she told Eazy.
"The last thing I wanted to do is for you to continue to pour yourself out and one day just like, send you home at a rose ceremony.
"I can't even explain to you how amazing you are, because you're truly amazing. I'm sorry, Eazy."
And that was that. Eazy was sent packing.
"It went from great to goodbye in no time," Eazy told the cameras while in the van.
"I thought that this was who I was going to stand up with and would be the love of my life and everything would be great.
"I don't know if I've ever been more disappointed."
Sorry, man. If you had read through The Bachelorette spoilers on this website, you would have at least seen this elimination coming.
Prior to the rose ceremony, Tayshia basically told Noah and Bennett to cut their $hit and end their feud.
Bennett proceeded to tell Noah that he believed the 25-year-old lacked three of the four pillars of emotional intelligence.
"You don't develop it out of the womb," Bennett explained.
"It is something that you gain over life. And I'm not talking down to you. I did not have emotional intelligence at your age.”
Tayshia, it's safe to say, was irritated by the pair's failure to heed her warning.
She called them petty and said they were engaged in "teenage boy drama."
Adams also accused Bennett of questioning her "integrity" and left the conversation by asking about the contents of Bennett's gift box.
When Tayshia finds out the answer on next week's episode, she'll decide who to send home.