David Eason: I HAD to Bust a Cap in That Bish Nugget!! It Was That or Train Her!

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Remember when the Jerry Springer Show first debuted, and it was only sort of trashy, but it quickly deteriorated into inbred circus freaks beating each other with chairs for 60 minutes straight?

That's pretty much what's happened with Jenelle Evans and David Eason in the year since she got fired from Teen Mom 2.

JE vs CPS 3

Jenelle was already clinging to the very bottom rung of the respectable society ladder in her final season on the show.

Ever since, it's been like watching evolution in reverse, as Jenelle and David have gone from occasionally keeping up appearances to brazenly stumbling through a feces-strewn wasteland of their own making and documenting the mess on social media on a daily basis.

Earlier this week, Jenelle uploaded a 48-minute video in which she accused CPS of kidnapping her children and made several other ridiculous claims which led to widespread speculation that she's been spending most of her quarantine killing brain cells in her she-shed.

Evans joined QAnon recently, so it should come as no surprise that she's taken on the belief that the entire world is in conspiracy against her.

It should also come as no surprise that David Eason quickly adopted this theory to explain why he's a 32-year-old dad who sells bracelets online for a living.

(Ed. note: There's nothing wrong with making your living selling bracelets online if you're making money at it and/or putting out a quality product -- neither can be said of David's "business.")

Jenelle Evans and David Eason in 2020

Not only is David chronically unemployed, he also cut off his family's sole means of support when he shot and killed the family dog, prompting the investigation that led to Jenelle being fired.

The rest of the world has long since moved on to other topics, having decided long ago that Eason is obviously guilty as hell.

But like OJ before him, Eason is still out here trying to convince the world of his innocence.

JE vs CPS 7

Spoiler alert: No one is buying it.

David got on camera during Jenelle's half-assed, self-serving documentary and defended his decision to beat and shoot the tiny French bulldog in front of his kids.

“So, about Nugget …. She was a loving dog to me, but she was not loving toward our kids at all. I mean, I loved the dog. The kids loved it. But she didn’t love the kids,” he said in the video.

David Eason Stupid

“She wasn’t always vicious, but she had a lot of vicious tendencies. She really was kind of mean. We put up with it for a long time.”

David claimed that the “dog didn’t play nice," and he insists that there had been several serious behavioral incidents -- none of which were documented in any way, of course.

“She bit Ensley on the face more than one time,” he said.

Eason and Goat

“The first time it happened, we should’ve got rid of her. But we had been working with the dog," David continued.

"It seemed like it was working, and so that was one of the reasons I was taking the video that day that Ensley got bit on the face, was because we never hardly had that many good videos of the kids playing with the dog.”

He went on to claim that Nugget viciously attacked Ensley several times on the final day of the poor pup's life -- though again, these attacks were suspiciously not captured on camera, nor was the aftermath photographed.

David Eason on His Gram

“That was not the first time that same day that the dog had done something of that nature,” David said.

“Well, I took it upon myself to put the dog down. … I regret it,” he continued.

“But sometimes that’s the way it works. I wish it hadn’t have had to happen that way.”

David Kissing Nugget

It's pretty funny how David throws up his hands and offers some BS "Hey, that's just the way the world works, folks! Gotta accept it!" explanation -- during a video in which he and Jenelle are essentially begging to get their cushy, six-figure jobs back.

Maybe "funny" isn't the word -- but it does put a smile on our faces thinking about the fact that we'll never have to see these abusive bigot morons on TV again.

But hey, we guess his continued unemployment will give David more time to post racist rants against Michelle Obama.

Whatever keeps him busy!

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