Well, they may have dragged it out as long as humanly possible, but at least the producers of Jersey Shore finally let us get to the climactic part of Angelina Pivarnick’s wedding.
And it was every bit as messy as we were expecting — though not for the reasons we expected.
We’d known for months that Angelina got roasted at her own reception by her female castmates — Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, and Deena Nicole Cortese.
What we didn’t know was that that the reaction to the speech would create more drama than the speech itself.
Just to be clear, we’re in no way excusing the ladies’ decision to give Angelina the 8 Mile treatment in front of her entire family.
But there are several factors to consider here:
For one thing, Snooki claims Jersey Shore producers insisted that the housemates make offensive jokes during the speech so as to transform the wedding into compelling television (and possibly justify the four episodes they devoted to the nuptials).
“I literally told producers, ‘I’m not going to do a speech because I’m not comfortable doing one; I don’t think we should be doing one,” Nicole said on her podcast.
“[I said] ‘We’re not going to make a mockery of this wedding’ and of course we were forced to do something we didn’t want to do.”
Summing up the situation as bluntly as possible, Polizzi concluded, "Producers forced us to do the speech."
Not only that, Angelina encouraged her friends to make jokes at her expense.
In that respect, the standard was set by Chris Larangeira’s best man, who really teed off on the couple ("period sh-t," anyone?) during his toast,.
Whatever the case, Angelina laughed during the speech, but decided afterward that she was pissed.
We’re not knocking her for that – offense is often a delayed reaction, and Deena’s drunken attempts to apologize seemed to only agitate the bride further.
However, the best thing Angelina could have done for her own career prospects would have been to forgive and forget.
Because it now looks as though she may have brought about the end of Jersey Shore with her outraged reaction.
As a result of the "mean girl" criticism she received online, Snooki retired from Jersey Shore.
It seems her decision has set off a chain reaction, too.
“Last episode tonight…Love and appreciate you all!” she tweeted ahead of the episode Thursday night.
This prompted an unexpected response from Snooks’ bestie JWoww Farley who used the occasion to more or less announce her own retirement.
“I am way to[o] ride or die to see you leave… if you’re done, I’m done,” Jenni wrote.
“There’s no Jwoww without my Snooki.”
At that point, Jenni vented her frustrations and revealed that she believes it’s Angelina’s fault that Nicole is quitting.
“I watched my best friend quit [the show] because she couldn’t handle the stress,” JWoww tweeted.
“I stayed up so many nights hearing Deena cry over being called names she didn’t deserve. All while Angelina basked in the attention she was given. 7 months I waited for tonight.”
Snooki later added, "This whole thing was the absolute last straw for me."
Deena chimed in that she’s "been getting threats for months" and described the wedding as "the most dramatic thing [she has] ever been a part of filming."
Referring to the online abuse from viewers, Jenni tweeted that "if Angelina was truly our friend, she would’ve made it stop" and noted that "[Pivarnick] always referred to the girls as her ‘co workers’ so I guess we never were friends."
It was then that Angelina spoke out in her own defense.
"Yes I texted all of them and I spoke to them. Deena and me had a nice convo," she tweeted.
"Nicole I’ve texted and we spoke jenni I texted I wanna move past this and she wrote me a novel about how I tried to sabotage her brand etc. Not saying sorry at all."
"You texted 5 months later after MTV forced you. We texted 2 minutes after the speech and you watched us cry while you chose to scream at production instead of accepting our apology," Jenni shot back.
"It sure as f-ck was a novel. You knew about the death threats and chose to say … to nicole and I “if you acted right, none of my fans would attack you.’
"Angelina we are moms first, family second and you chose to make us coworkers. We are not family and you will never know what that’s like cuz you chose this route."
Needless to say, this is not your typical spat among castmates.
And now, Jenni has hinted that the installment fans watched last night was the very last episode of Jersey Shore:
"I kept my mouth shut for 7 months for the integrity of the show… but now the shows over @angelinamtvjs," Farley tweeted.
"You should unblock me if your gonna lie on IG live… because texts don’t lie."
Sounds pretty final to us!
Mike Sorrentino and Vinny Guadagnino have both vowed to return for another season.
But without Snooki, Deena, and JWoww – will anyone tune in?
In all likelihood, this is the end of Jersey Shore as we know it. Guess the Staten Island Hamster had the last laugh in the end!