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MTV has announced the return date for Jersey Shore: Family Vacation.

The network has also unveiled the official synopsis for the continuation of Season 3, and you won’t believe this, but…

Photo via MTV

… major drama is on the way!

So are a handful of locales, as our favorite quasi family takes its often-wasted show on the road.

Let’s start with the upcoming air time and date, however:

The series will kick off a run of new episodes on Thursday, February 27th at 8pm ET/PT.

These all-new episodes, according to MTV, will take the group across the country – New Jersey, New Orleans and Las Vegas – for "surprises, tears and even more outrageous moments."

A Confused Situation

What else can fans expect this winter and spring?

The cable network teases that all of the aforementioned developments and reactions will "lead up to a wildly memorable trip down the aisle for one of the cast members."

What could this be referring to? We have no idea.

Which means we’ll need to tune in, we suppose.

JWOWW Reacts to Something

In its press release, MTV also ran down each of the returning fan favorites and what we can look forward to seeing from them over the next several weeks. To wit:

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino? He’s out of prison after spending time behind bars for his admitted role in a bankruptcy fraud scheme.

Look for Sitch to rejoin the group after his long-awaited release from jail, and for the roommates to finally feel whole again, prepared for a fresh start.

Elsewhere, Nicole and Deena will "continue to live their best ‘mommy’ lives," the network says in weird fashion, basically previewing how each will be busy as a parent of young kids.

A Gender Reveal

Jenni, meanwhile, will embrace her new single life, many months after finalizing her divorce from Roger Mathews and also after splitting from her boyfriend – who, toward the end of last year, nearly tore the household apart with his actions.

Vinny? He’s happily eating carbs again. Really. That’s what the network teases.

Elsewhere, Ronnie’s "quest for inner peace is always foiled because of his on-again/off-again relationship," which took yet another dangerous turn a few days ago when he accused Jen Harley of a new attack.

Finally, DJ Pauly D will be touring the country conquering the DJ world — and Angelina is gearing up to get married!

mike is back

You’ll notice that Snooki isn’t included in this rundown.

And that’s because she, shockingly, will not be coming back to the show.

"I have to do what’s best for me at the moment, and I am retiring from Jersey Shore," Snooki said in early December, adding:

"I hate being away from the kids, I don’t like partying three days in a row, it’s just not my life anymore.

"And I wanna be home with the kids. I don’t mind a here or there going to a dinner or whatever, but it’s just really hard on me to leave the kids and film the show."

How will the roommates get by without her? Click below to find out:

Concluded Snooki on her Jersey Shore resignation:

“I’m not saying goodbye … I just need to move on from the show because I don’t like the direction it’s going in when it comes to the drama and the cattiness."

We can’t imagine Jersey Shore without the Snookster, can you? 

Just consider all the ways in which she evolved and all the things she did over the last decade: