NOTE: For The Bachelorette spoilers revealing how the end of the season plays out, follow the link ... it's a doozy.
As far as last night's episode, the ABC franchise featured perhaps its most random cameo of all-time this week.
But it also featured a battle between two suitors with the same first name and that's where we need to begin...
While the suitors reminisced about Cam’s departure at the last rose ceremony - mostly based on his fabricated a sob story to earn a “pity rose” from Hannah Brown - they all concluded that pulling such a move like that doesn’t benefit anyone.
So, when the guys took a visit across the country to Gurney’s Newport Resort & Marina in Newport, Rhode Island, they apparently decided to get physical instead of wax philosophical.
The group date centered on a a rugby match... and also on Luke P. violently tackling Luke S. during the game under the guise of self-defense.
“Give me break! He’s so full of sh-t it’s coming out of his ears,” Luke S. told the cameras, adding of the polarizing front-runner:
“He’s an unstable guy. He shouldn’t be here. I never want to see him again.”
Luke Parker, of course, has made headlines all season long for declaring his love for Hannah after, like, two days and for sort of laying claim to her each week.
Brown finally grew sick of his overly aggressive ways last week and told him to back the eff off a little bit.
“Luke S. did nothing that deserved retaliation. He truly did not," Mike said last night, as the man piled on Parker.
Social media users, meanwhile, made their opinion of Luke P. very well known as well:
Hannah took note of what transpired after the game and wanted an explanation, so she quickly grabbed Parker for a chat.
“Today, I don’t know if you know this, but Luke S. and I had an encounter on the field,” Luke said by way of explanation, going into extreme detail as follows:
“I had the ball, I stiff-armed the ground, but you know, he started cussing me out and started clenching his fists and started coming at me, started to swing at me. To hit me in the face.
"And I didn’t know what to do and I picked him up and I put him on his back. I’m doing my best after the last thing, the conversation we had about all of this, I’ve been really trying hard.”
Parker (above) then “genuinely” apologized... but also made sure to trash his rival Luke before his conversation with Hannah wrapped up.
“I’ve seen red flags come up,” he said. “He’s always talking about his brand and his liquor company, and I’ve never heard him talk about you.”
For his part, Luke S. (below) told Brown that everyone there was "pretty irritated" with the other Luke.
“I’m here for you. Seriously,” Luke S. added when Hannah brought up the above allegations against him.
“I like you and I’m serious about that. That really makes me, really makes me upset to hear that.”
Later on, Garrett addressed the Luke-on-Luke crime in front of the group, leading the suitors to slam Parker as a liar after he rambled on about how he remembered the incident.
Garrett also earned a one-on-one time with Hannah, during which he confessed to "crushing hard" on The Bachelorette.
This garnered him a Group Date Rose and at least another week on the show.
Jed, also received the same type of rose after his one-on-one date with Hannah in Boston.
After the two explored the city and practiced with Terry Rozier and Jaylen Brown of the Boston Celtics for some very strange reason, Jed opened up about his questionable intentions for coming on the program.
“When I signed up for the show, I was so clueless,” the Nashville-based musician told Hannah.
“I was open to the idea because I love love. I do, I love the idea of it. But my first thought was this is like a huge platform, and I just want you to know the truth.
"So I came in with that mindset, but every moment that we’ve had has taken that away and shown me that now more than anything I want to be with you.”
Such honestly clearly paid off because, well... look:
Brown also gave a rose to her last one-on-one date, Tyler C, even though his date started off rocky due to the drama with the two Lukes.
“I am honestly not that great,” she told the general contractor at the outset of their time together, adding:
“And I didn’t have the best morning, so, like, last night was just a lot."
"I know I’m supposed to be here, but sometimes I don’t know why, or if it’s going to work. I want today to be fun. I’m just, like, not that fun right now, so I’m really sorry."
But Tyler handled it very well, telling Hannah he just wanted to be a positive influence on her and making sure she enjoyed her time catching lobsters.
He also got very candid about how his dad is very sick and how he nearly didn't come on The Bachelorette, but then Hannah herself actually changed his mind.
“He kind of like become a huge fan of you,” Tyler said of his dad.
“He was like, ‘Tyler, this is your girl. You gotta go make the most of this opportunity.’ And so I went for it and still feeling like I don’t know if this is for me and then I get to the limo and I see you, I got this feeling that I never for someone."
"I had this feeling for someone, I’ve never felt for someone before. That confirmed a lot for me just then and there. I was like, I’m not here for The Bachelorette, I’m here for Hannah.”
This has to have made Hannah feel great, but she was still stuck on the Luke(s) situation during the cocktail party.
She sat the foes down together at one point in order to quell the tension, although we'll need to wait until next week to see how that conversation turned out.
“I plan on telling her that I do believe that you are here for the right reasons,” Luke P. told Luke S. in a separate discussion in front of Hannah’s remaining suitors.
“Because guess what?"
"She’s questioning my character. And I didn’t ever want her to ever be in a position like that with me. And so I totally understand how you feel.”
Sounds like progress, right?
Except that Parker then said the exact opposite to Hannah.
“The last person I want to talk about right now is Luke S., but he came up to me asking me to put in a good word for him to you, which I have no business concerning myself with,” Luke P. claimed to Hannah during the party.
“But what I want you to know is, what I told you the other night about him, my opinion about him being here for the right reasons, although he tried to talk me into thinking that he is here for the right reasons, nothing has changed.”
What a total and complete liar!
Is Hannah really going to choose this desperate loser?
Visit our section of Bachelorette spoilers to find out!