Like America itself, The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is very conflicted on the issue of sex.
You’ve got The Bachelor In Paradise, where anything goes and cold sores are worn as badges of honor — and then you’ve got the most reason seasons of the franchise’s flagship shows, both of which focused on chaste young singles who prefer thumping Bibles to headboards.
We all know that Colton Underwood was a virgin because it was mentioned roughly 47,000 times per episode during his season.
(Incidentally, the fact that Colton may have lost his V-card but refuses to confirm it is as anti-climactic as the lords and ladies of Westeros picking a new king in five minutes after an 8-year battle for the Iron Throne.)
Now we have Hannah Brown, who is admittedly not a virgin — but seems to be not all that far from it.
From the way she talks about her past, it sounds like Hannah has had sex with, like, one dude.
So will she be quadrupling her numbers once she reaches the fantasy suite stage of the competition? Don’t count on it:
"I really struggled with what I was going to do with fantasy suites, but I didn’t really want to think too much about it until we got there," Hannah recently told Entertainment Tonight.
"I had a lot of other things on my mind at that point… but really that was just a personal decision between me and whoever I decided to go into the fantasy suite with or decided not to."
One of the most obsessed-over promos for the show’s current season shows Hannah shouting, "I have had sex, and Jesus still loves me!"
A lot of folks wondered if that meant she had recently entered Beast Mode in the fantasy suite — but now it looks more like she was clarifying that she has had sex in the past.
"A lot of times, people get Christianity and religion messed up, because your faith should be something personal in a relationship and it’s not to judge others or say, ‘Christianity is something you welcome others into,’" Hannah told ET.
"It should be a place where people feel safe and welcomed… and not to feel judged or shamed." she explained.
"Regardless of anything that I’ve done that people might think, ‘Oh, well, that deserved a scarlet letter,’ that’s not how it works. I can do whatever. I sinned daily, and Jesus still loves me."
So there you have it.
The bad news is that Hannah won’t be getting down to business with her final suitors.
The good news is, at least that douche bag Luke Parker won’t be getting laid.