Ivana Trump to Melania Trump: I'm the REAL First Lady!!

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Move over, Twilight. We found the world's new worst love triangle.

Okay, well "love" might not be the operative word, here. But Trump's third wife appears to be in a public feud with his first wife.

Like so much of what's happened surrounding the White House this year, this feud is completely unprecedented and also ... ridiculous.

Trumps at the White House

Despite his flair for conflict and roots as a reality star, Donald Trump is not the source of this conflict.

His first wife, Ivana Trump, is the one kicking over sandcastles. Figuratively speaking.

While Trump was sending Mike Pence on a fool's errand, hoping to stir the pot with a transparent political ploy, Ivana was promoting her book.

"Raising Trump" is about Ivana's experience parenting the three eldest Trump children -- Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr.

While you'd think that telling a story about raising three Horsemen of the Apocalypse would be enough, in and of itself, Ivana clearly takes after her former husband -- because she decided to boast.

"I'm basically first Trump wife. OK? I'm first lady."

And there's more.

Ivana Trump in Leopard Print

During part of Ivana's promotion of her book, she bragged about having a direct line to Donald -- but said that she doesn't call him at the White House, because she politely doesn't want to step on Melania's toes.

"I [don't] really want to call him there, because Melania is there. And I don't want to cause any kind of jealousy or something like that, because I'm basically first Trump wife. OK? I'm first lady."

It's a pun, you see -- Melania is the First Lady (because her husband is President, because we're living in the Darkest Timeline), but since Ivana was married to him first, she's the first lady.

Ivana also expressed her sympathy for Melania having to live in DC.

"I think for her to be in Washington must be terrible. It's better her than me. I would hate Washington."

Ivana made one final dig, boasting about how easily she would adjust to the White House if she were First Lady.

Melania Trump as First Lady

"Would I straighten up the White House in 14 days? Absolutely. Can I give the speech for 45 minutes without [a] teleprompter?"

"Absolutely. Can I read a contract? Can I negotiate? Can I entertain? Absolutely. But I would not really like to be there. I like my freedom."

Obviously, Ivana knew that all of this would ruffle some feathers. She did it on purpose.

Books sell better when people know that they exist, after all. Publishing lives and dies on publicity.

It's not surprising that Ivana is an intelligent woman. Her daughter Ivanka is a reasonably intelligent young woman, and she had to have inherited that from one of her parents.

By process of elimination, it had to have been from Ivana.

Donald Trump, Wife

Melania knew the ploy for what it was immediately, but she was not amused.

Melania's spokeswoman, Stephanie Grisham, issued a statement on the matter:

"Mrs. Trump has made the White House a home for Barron and the President."

"She loves living in Washington, DC and is honored by her role as First Lady of the United States."

"She plans to use her title and role to help children, not sell books."

Selling books -- she really hit the nail right on the head. And then some:

"There is clearly no substance to this statement from an ex, this is unfortunately only attention-seeking and self-serving noise."

Ivana Trump: DuJour Magazine's Jason Binn Celebrates Annual Art Basel Miami Beach Kick-Off Party

Yep -- that's the idea behind publicity tours, after all.

One almost wonders if Melania was deliberately speaking up in order to drive up publicity and help Ivana sell "Raising Trump" out of some sort of solidarity.

Whether that was her intent or whether she truly was trying to bash her husband's ex, the effect is the same -- more talk means more press means more book sales.

More than anything, a lot of people feel sorry for Ivana and Melania both.

You know, because of their unenviable ties to Donald Trump.

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