There are several stages to life as a reality TV star:
First, there’s the SnooKylie period, in which you’re sitting on top of the world, setting trends, and pulling in six figs just for showing up places.
Sadly, not long after that, most stars hit the "tonight at 10:30 on VH1" phase of their careers, in which no one cares what they’re doing unless they’re going through some sort of rehabilitation or banging another D-lister.
Usually, the sex tape stage is the last to come along, but Farrah Ambraham has demonstrated an impressive ability to move freely between the levels, and now it looks like she’ll be spending some time contracting social diseases on basic cable.
After several weeks of rumors, Farrah confirmed today that she’s broken up with Simon Saran, but cry for her, Teen Mom Twitter.
Ms. Abraham is already looking forward to working the dating show circuit.
“My relationship status is single. Living the dream,” Abraham told People. “I’m back to my good old self.”
“I dedicated some time to him and I think I just need to move on. I’m used to having boyfriends doing press and bad stuff to me in the past, but if he wants to comment, he should keep it supportive and he could have a friend.”
Based on Farrah’s latest Instagram activity, the "friend" part seems to be going well.
That’s Farrah and Simon in Key West, just last week.
The caption says, "#friends," but the arm around the waist says, "with benefits."
After her last breakup, Farrah appeared on Million Dollar Matchmaker, and though the experience didn’t result in a new relationship, it seems she’d be willing to make a second attempt at finding romance on TV:
"Hopefully there’s another amazing dating show coming up for me. I’m just really keeping it open and not limiting myself,” Farrah says.
You know what they say, when you get thrown from the horse, get right back on – but only if the second horse also has over a million Instagram followers.
In case you were worried about, Farrah’s mental state these days, fear not.
She’s still spouting Palin-esque gibberish with the best of them.
Asked what she’ll be looking for in a future mate, Farrah told People:
“If I find somebody who is just understanding of adversity and I find a man who is equally adverse, then that is the best thing for me to be partnered with."
So she wants … more adversity?
We’ve read 14th Century Chinese poetry that’s easier to understand than Farrah’s interview quotes.
Anyway, we’re sure it’s a tough time for Farrah and Simon alike, but there are silver linings for both parties.
Simon no longer has to devote hours each day to puzzling out the Rubik’s Cube that is Farrah’s take on the English language, and she can move on to living the dream by catching gonorrhea from some dude who was on a season of the Real World.
It’s really a win-win.