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A few months ago, we learned that Matt Baier has been so troubled by the media’s portrayal of him that he decided to write an entire book to set the record straight.

Sounds obnoxious already, right? Well, hold on.

Baier With Us

The book, a tell-all he actually titled You Have No F**king Idea: The Naked Truth About My Life, comes out in May, and we’re sure it’ll be as cringeworthy as it sounds.

Really, we know it will be — and that’s because we have an excerpt!

In this passage of the book, Matt begins with "Everybody had a story. Everybody had a picture. Everybody had a wild tale to tell and the media ate it up."

"Hell, they still do," he continues. "There was a story recently about my past drug use that referred to me as the ‘slimy, sleazy fiancé of Amber Portwood.’"

Amber and Matt on Instagram

Because he’s upset that he’s painted in such a negative light all over the internet, get it? He’s sad because he’s done questionable things and now that he’s semi-famous, people know about those things.

But still, Matt argues that "The fact of the matter is that I have not done the majority of what’s been written about me. I have no criminal record. I barely have a background."

"The press has invented sins based on the word of people looking to get paid and be famous."

He then goes on a little tirade about the tabloids, about the little tricks they use to report scandalous but unverified things about him — "allegedly" he’s done this, "a source says" he’s done that.

He writes that he asked a tabloid reporter about why all this happens to poor, innocent Matt, and the answer was simple: people see his name in a headline, and they click on it.

Matt Baier Book Cover

As for why that happens, Matt muses that "I think it’s because they can’t get over the age difference between Amber and I. It’s shocking to them."

"Some of it, I’m sure, has to do with the demographic of Teen Mom viewers, who are generally younger. They’re wonderful, but they don’t understand."

He explains that "If you’re nineteen, and you’re watching this show, your father might be younger than me. I just turned forty-five. Amber and I got together when I was forty-two."

"To the kids watching this show, I might as well be 100."

Another thing, he says, is that he and Amber have been together for three years, and "Really, who do you think knows me more, the person I’ve spent twenty-four hours a day with for the last three years, or somebody I met in a bar fifteen years ago, and never even got their last name?"

Amber Portwood with Matt Baier Pic

With the tabloids, he says that "the truth wasn’t what they wanted. They didn’t think the truth got clicks. They didn’t think the truth sold magazines."

"Well, now it’s my turn."

And there it is.

Matt wrote this book so that he could refute countless tabloid reports about his status as a deadbeat dad, his former substance abuse, and his entire sordid past.

And that’s great. We’re glad he feels so passionate about setting the record straight.

Matthew Baier Up Close

But the issue is that he seems to think so many people care about each and every individual report about him, when that’s just not the case.

People care about two things: one, that he pretty much lied to Amber Portwood about how many children he had, and that he doesn’t have the best relationship with those children — something he’s admitted to.

And two, the fact that he tried to holler at Jenelle Evans and Farrah Abraham on Twitter before he was successful in getting with Amber.

Those are facts, they make him shady and suspicious, and that’s why people don’t like him.

But congrats on the book, guy.