Don't you just love Teen Mom? All the cute kids. All the drama.
All the ... no, that trifecta pretty much covers it right there.
But while we all love the show (genuinely or not, whichever), and we all know more than we probably should about these total strangers.
Yet there are still things we don't know, or generally don't pay attention to, such as: What do the men of the show do for a living?
Sure, they get paid handsomely for letting MTV air their dirty laundry, but they've got to do other stuff in their downtime, right?
Check out the occupations of the guys you know and love (and Adam Lind, for that matter), some of which will surprise you!
Taylor McKinney is married to Maci Bookout, and they share a clothing company called Things That Matter. Before that, Taylor was a motocross rider ... for real! In 2006, he broke both of his arms in the process. He still keeps up with the business, though, frequently posting photos of BMX-related figures and content on his Instagram. On the side, he also coaches Bentley's Little League team, which is about the sweetest stepdad thing ever.
Cole works as a traffic control specialist - he works on the highways to keep all the traffic running smoothly. And somehow, he's made that an adorable job ... perhaps in part because he's helped Chelsea Houska's life run so much more smoothly and happily ever since they got together. DeBoer is also an avid hunter, in case he weren't hot enough.
Tyler does lots of stuff! He's definitely one of the most active male stars of the Teen Mom franchise, and he also enjoys writing - he and Caitlynn Lowry have already released one book! The husband and wife duo also starred in a network special drawn from their own experience as a couple who gave up a child for adoption. In addition to that, he's shown interest in going into social work or counseling.
You know this one if you follow Leah Messer's storyline at all: Jeremy Calvert is a pipeline engineer! He lays pipe all over America (we did not mean that in a euphemistic way, get your minds out of the gutter), and he makes a high salary doing it. The downside is that said work takes place on site, so he is often away from home - much to the consternation of Leah, and later fiancee Brooke Wehr.
Javi is, of course, in the United States Air Force. He's been there for nearly four years now, and last year he was deployed for six months, something that played a role in the ultimate destruction of his relationship with Kailyn Lowry. When he's back at home, Marroquin has also capitalized on his Teen Mom 2 fame as an Instagram influencer and by working on his book debut.
Ryan Edwards, believe it or not, used to be a lineman, risking his personal safety to work on those power lines. He may still do that, though he's been in the news lately for other reasons, namely his weddings to Mackenzie Standifer and his drug addiction, which played out on Teen Mom: OG and landed him in rehab.
Gary Shirley does a little of this, a little of that ... when he's not digging into the shady histories of the men who date Amber Portwood, he's also releasing his own brand of condoms! Yes, seriously. And as if that weren't enough, he's gotten in on the business of selling baked goods on the Internet, too. For real.
Corey Simms, Leah Messer's first ex-husband, is a meter reader for a water company. Perhaps that's one of the reasons he and Jeremy Calvert always gotten along, given their shared love of public works and utilities.
Good ol' Nathan used to be a U.S. Marine, and he's also claimed to have been an underwear model. We're pretty sure that he's currently focusing on trolling baby mama Jenelle Evans and avoiding jail time than obtaining gainful employment, but maybe that's just us being negative.
Adam Lind is a professional trainer ... can't you tell by all his steroid-enhanced muscles? He also competes in weight lifting competitions, which gives him sponsors and convenient excuses to get out of his parenting duties, but at least he also earns money to pay child support. Oh wait ...
Somehow, against all odds, Matt Baier (not an official Teen Mom dad, but hey) has managed to make time in his busy schedule of being the world's shadiest human to do some work! He flips houses (Amber Portwood joined him in that pursuit while they were together), he just released his first book (this is the real cover), and has even spent time as a radio host. Jack of all trades, non-trustworthy master of none?
Andrew Glennon is set to join this exclusive crew when Amber Portwood welcomes her second child with him in 2018. Andrew was working as a crew member on Marriage Boot Camp when he met Amber ... who was on the show with Matt Baier. Awkward, but she says there was no romantic overlap. Andrew hails from Malibu, Calif., and according to an IMDb page linked to his name, he's worked in production for quite some time, namely in the camera department and as a cinematographer for a few short films and other similar indie projects.
These days, David Eason seems pretty content to just be with Jenelle Evans and ride that Teen Mom train all the way to the bank, but before he hooked up with the Carolina Hurricane, he was a pipe inspector and a welder.
... Yeah, Jo Rivera doesn't do anything that we know of. He's living on that Teen Mom money, and while we may side-eye that, he's obviously a loving, attentive father, and has turned into a remarkably stable figure in Kailyn Lowry's life, so it looks like he's doing just fine.
Josh McKee, seen here with wife Mackenzie McKee, is familiar to fans of the short-lived Teen Mom 3 (which also starred Briana DeJesus, who went on to join Teen Mom 2 later in life, to Mackenzie's fame-loving consternation). Anyway, Josh is a professional bull rider. A full on rodeo professional. So instilled is his profession in their lives that the couple's third child is named Broncs. Yes, that is the correct spelling.
OK, so Simon Saran isn't a father yet ... though who knows what Farrah Abraham has in store for him if they get back together someday. But let's throw him in, just for fun; Simon is actually pretty successful in real estate, and also bragging about being successful in real estate. He's kind of a big deal, according to Simon.
Not much is known about Devoin Austin II other than what he is known for - his relationship and child with Briana DeJesus. The pair unexpectedly became pregnant in 2011, and Devoin dropped out of his daughter’s life as soon as she was born, failing (in her view) to be a financial or emotional support system. Recently, he appeared on Teen Mom 2 and showed renewed interest in being part of her life, as well as to work more in order to keep up with support. It's unclear what his profession(s) may be, but at least it was something.
Even less is known about Luis Miguel, Briana DeJesus' second baby daddy, who cheated on her right around when she got pregnant and was promptly given the boot. We imagine that given her propensity for drama, we have yet to see or hear the last of Miguel.