Dane Cook has taken serious issue with Nick Cannon’s latest fashion choice.
In related news, Dane Cook is apparently still alive.
But the comedian has chosen to make his presence felt once again in a semi-coherent rant against Cannon that comes across as confusing, misguided, mean and unfunny.
In other words: it’s Peak Dane Cook!
On Tuesday night, Cook WENT OFF on Cannon after photos of the America’s Got Talent host surfaced online from his attendance at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
In these images, Cannon was wearing a pink turban on his head.
And Cook… simply… could… not… handle it.
“Last night Nick Cannon wore this sh-t,” Cook began, merely getting warmed up and adding:
“He put this on his head and he looked in a mirror and he walked away from the mirror without saying to himself, ‘Hey self mayyyyyybe I shouldn’t look like Zoltan and wear a f-cking pink turban with one of the infinity stones from Avengers on it.’
He went outside and people didn’t stop him and say ‘Nick Cannon from Americas Best Talents Competition we love you so please remove that from your head please and thank you.’"
Maybe they didn’t say this because they know Cannon has a history of wearing turbans.
He does so in order to make a political statment.
But Cook was undeterred. He continued to rant and rave…
"This pic makes me so frustrated that I want to delete it already and I think I will because this makes me want to quit Instagram," he wrote, teasing us with such a promise.
"Don’t get me wrong Nick is a good guy and he and I go way back but I’m gonna have to call Nick out here and say he Cannon’t wear this f-cking thing again.”
Cook ended his message by trying and failing to make some jokes:
“I just opened my fridge and randomly punched into it in utter disbelief.
"I also just called hammered a nail into my own tire so I could walk into the woods off the side of a rural highway to spit on a birds nest.
"Ahhhh I’ve been ranting since my Voice of Doom 12 years ago on my website. Follow meeeeeeeee. Hahahaahhaah."
Shortly after Cook’s tirade went viral, Cannon calmly responded on Twitter and Instagram.
"Yo @DaneCook call me so I can explain this Muthaf***in King Business to you!!” the comedian wrote.
He had some fun adding turban emojis and the hashtags, “#MoorishMindset #SikhLife #ReconditioningOurCommunities.”
Indeed, Cannon has donned a variety of turbans in the past, including to this year’s America’s Got Talent finale and the MTV Video Music Awards.
It’s unclear why Cook chose to speak out about this fashion statement now.
It’s also unclear how Dane Cook still has any fans.
We guess some things will forever remain a mystery.