The flaming Hindenberg wreckage that Donald Trump calls a presidential campaign inched ever closer to self-parody Wednesday night thanks to the revelation that Trump once entered into a professional relationship with a remorseless bloodthirsty beast.
No, not Ted Cruz.
We’re talking about the revelation that Trump once asked O.J. Simpson to appear on Celebrity Apprentice.
Yes, well after O.J. was controversially acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, Trump thought it would be a good idea to have the former NFL running back/probable cold-blooded killer star on his goofy reality show.
You may be thinking, "Hey, Trump’s pretty dumb. Maybe he’s one of those people who genuinely believes O.J. is innocent!"
Nope. Turns out that Trump totally thinks O.J. is a double murderer and wanted him to star on his show anyway, because ratings.
Like the revelation that Trump likes to refer to his daughter, Ivanka, as a "piece of ass," this one comes to us courtesy of Howard Stern, who apparently has a snake charmer-like ability to get Trump to spill embarrassing details about his past.
"I do have to tell you about O.J. and The Apprentice,’" Trump told Stern in a July 2008 interview.
"NBC went totally crazy when I wanted to put O.J. on The Apprentice."
Yeah, they went "totally crazy" for not wanting to put one of the most hated men in America on an already poorly-rated reality show.
What a bunch of uptight squares, right?
Shockingly, Trump confirms that he stopped playing golf with Simpson when he "realized he killed his wife," but he was willing to overlook that indiscretion in order to boost his numbers in the 18-49 demo.
Asked why he would consider such a bizarre ratings stunt, Trump replied as only Trump can:
"In your business, there’s a thing called ratings," the real estate mogul told Stern.
"And, you know you can come up with a cure for cancer – I found out a lot about your business – because, hey, I’m the biggest star. I’m now the biggest star.
"So I know that if you come up with a cure for cancer, and if you put it on, and if it doesn’t get ratings, they will not broadcast it."
Trump added that he’d rather have O.J. appear on camera in a blood-splattered Bills jersey with a knife between his teeth than eradicate one of the deadliest diseases on the planet:
"So, you come with a cure for a disease, no good. Now, I know this if I put O.J. on huge ratings. Oh, forget it, 35 million people."
Asked if he went so far as to contact Simpson about the gig, Trump once again offered a reply that can only be described as Trumpian:
"I don’t want to go into it, but O.J. would have done it. I can’t go into the details," the 70-year-old said.
"I hadn’t spoken to him in years, I don’t like people that kill their wives. Does that make sense? Does that make me a disloyal person?"
So along with POWs, add "people who kill their wives" to the list of things the Donald doesn’t care for.
Of course, this is just the latest in a series of bizarre interactions between Trump and NBC.
Most recently, the footage of Trump boasting about sexual assault that leaked online was shot for an NBC-owned show (Access Hollywood) on the set of a different NBC series (Days of Our Lives).
Prior to that, the network had been accused of both hampering Trump’s campaign and helping to humanize him to voters.
The former allegations come from the Trump campaign, of course, while the latter originated with media analysts who believe Matt Lauer went easy on Trump during September’s Commander-In-Chief Forum.
Many also believe that Jimmy Fallon’s interview with Trump the same month was designed to make the GOP nominee more relatable to voters.
Trump described his friendship with O.J. – and bizarre contempt for murder victim Nicole Brown Simpson – in a 2004 interview:
"I’m sitting having dinner and O.J. came up to me — I was sitting with very important people, big bankers, nobody that you know, big, big bankers, and we were sitting there, there were six of us, and O.J. came up," Trump said.
"And he was talking to us for about three minutes, and Nicole, was with her mother I think, and she came over, and she started screaming at him, ‘get over to the table, what the hell are you—’ she was rough, in all fairness."
He added (presumably to a cringing reporter):
"She was very tough. She came over and she really embarrassed him, she was screaming at him. She didn’t care. And that was before The Apprentice so she didn’t give a damn about me.
"Now she’d be kissing my ass. Now I’m the biggest star on television, she’ll kiss my ass."
Trump concluded, with a laugh:
"So, he decided obviously to kill her."
Donald Trump, ladies and gentlemen!