Brace yourselves, people:
Farrah Abraham is the star of a new viral video – and it’s all about butt stuff.
No, we’re not talking about the long-awaited Farrah Abraham sex tape sequel.
We’re talking about Farrah’s visit with The Doctors.
Yes, the capital "D" Doctors, because this is Farrah we’re talking about.
Her life philosophy can basically be summed up as: there’s no point in doing anything unless it’s televised.
So why is Farrah consulting a team of medical professionals this time?
Why, to tinker with her appearance of course!
Farrah’s love of plastic surgery is no secret, but we don’t know exactly how many procedures she’s undergone.
Whatever that number is, it looks like it’s about to be raised by one.
Watch Farrah have a thoroughly ridiculous (even by Farrah standards) conversation with The Doctors’ plastic surgeon in the clip below:
"I wanted to see what could we do to get my butt where we want it to be," Farrah tells the doc.
"It’s all about proportions," said doc replies, struggling desperately to keep a straight face.
"And we know that you’re a curvy woman. Let me take a look and I’ll give you an honest opinion and we’ll talk about what our options are."
It’s true.
Farrah is a curvy woman.
Many of those curves are the result of the procedures she’s already undergone, but that’s beside the point.
Obviously, it’s no surprise that Farrah is going under the knife again, but hearing her say "get my butt where we want it to be" like she’s a CEO talking about stock prices is gold, Jerry. Pure gold.
Thankfully, an ethical medical professional occasionally stumbles onto the set of the doctors, and Farrah will apparently receive a full psychological evaluation in the episode.
Or at least as thorough of a psychological evaluation as one can get in a 60 minutes, in front of a live studio audience.
The docs will reportedly ask about Farrah’s daughter’s "modeling career" (The girl is 7 years old, BTW.) and about Farrah’s obsession with perfecting her own physical appearance.
Will Farrah finally experience the breakthrough that will lead her to being slightly less terrible?
Absolutely not, but it’ll be fun to watch her pretend to listen to a single word the doctors are saying.
Actually, we’re not being fair.
They’ll have her full attention when they’re talking about her butt.
She’s very interested in getting that butt where we want it to be.