Kim Basinger used to be married to Alec Baldwin. She also used to actually star in movies.

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From Britney and Kevin to the Tommy Lee-Kid Rock fight to that crazy lesbian Anne Heche, the spectacle of a public, bitter celebrity divorces sure is certainly one to behold. Here's The Hollywood Gossip's field guide to some of the major celebrities whose nuptials have unraveled before our eyes.

KEVIN FEDERLINE vs. BRITNEY SPEARS

Britney Spears, Family

He says: Not a lot. Because he has a good lawyer, and she says it all for him by parading around Hollywood clubs in no pants.
She says: He's "the biggest mistake she ever made" (and a stoner with no income).
Custody (of the kids): Currently 50-50, though FedEx is seeking a higher ratio of time with Sean and Jayden. Britney Spears' antics make that a distinct possibility.
Custody (of the fans): Kevin, we think. But only by attrition.

PAUL McCARTNEY vs. HEATHER MILLS

He says: She's got "personality issues," possibly code for "she used to be a high-priced call girl who serviced Arab arms dealers.
She says: The Beatles legend used to slap her around a little.
Custody (of the kids): Amicably shared, of daughter Beatrice.
Custody (of the fans): Paul by a wide margin across the Atlantic, but Mills won millions of fans stateside with her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A one-legged former hooker and "instructional sex tape" star, what's not to love?

COLEY LAFFOON vs. ANNE HECHE

He says: Anne Heche a frickin' nut!
She says: Coley Laffoon is a deadbeat who is addicted to porn, strippers and poker, as well as downloading sexual photos online.
Custody (of the kids): Bitterly contested, but split evenly, of son Homer.
Custody (of the fans): We gotta side with Laffoon, if only because he has no money and Heche had an affair with the equally-married James Tupper.

EMINEM vs. KIM MATHERS

He says: "I'd rather have a baby through my penis than get married again," Eminem said in 2002, after getting a divorce from Kim, who he was married to from 1999-2001. Note: He got married again. To Kim. In 2006. That's over too.
She says: His penis is small, doesn't work.
Custody (of the kids): Changes frequently.
Custody (of the fans): Eminem. Bitch crazy!

TOMMY LEE vs. KID ROCK

Lee (Pamela Anderson's husband for several years) says: Kid Rock is a wuss.
Kid (married to Pamela Anderson for three months in 2006) says: "Tommy Lee said some things that were extremely disrespectful to me."
Custody (of the kids): Tommy and Pam share custody of theirs 50-50. Thank goodness Kid Rock and Anderson did not procreate.
Custody (of the fans): Kid... but talk about a Rock and a head case!

ALEC BALDWIN vs. KIM BASINGER

He says: Kim is a manipulative liar who dedicates most of her live to making him miserable and not allowing him to see daughter Ireland.
She says: Alec and Saddam Hussein are pretty similar.
Custody (of the kids): Almost all Kim, especially after Alec infamously tore Ireland a new one on that gotta-hear-it-to-believe it voicemail.
Custody (of the fans): Alec Baldwin. Sure, he's got some personal issues. But watch this guy on 30 Rock and you just can't stay mad.

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Kim Basinger denied leaking Alec Baldwin's angry voicemail rant to their daughter Ireland and called on her ex-husband to "finally address his unstable and irrational behavior."

"Everybody is always asking why this custody battle has been going on for so many years and now they have the answer," Basinger said in a statement, released by her rep yesterday.

Alec Baldwin Picture

"The issue is not about Kim Basinger, or the alleged alienation that Alec constantly refers to. It is about his ongoing aggressive behavior," the rep added.

Kim Basinger, who has been charged with contempt of court in the past regarding her custody fight with Baldwin, claims she "did not release the voicemail," but adds that the message "was not sealed under a court order."

Alec Baldwin's attorneys had claimed the voicemail was in fact kept in a sealed court file, and leaked by Basinger or her attorneys.

The three-year custody fight for 11-year-old Ireland intensified last week when TMZ posted Saddam Hussein's Alec Baldwin's threatening voicemail in which he berated the child as a "little pig" and threatened that we was going to "straighten her out."

Baldwin said he had been "driven to the edge" by the years of court battles and called himself a victim of parental alienation â€" in which one parent alienates a child against the other during a custody battle.

Alec Baldwin has been criticized on his own Web site, and now Basinger says Baldwin has only himself to blame.

"Kim's sincerest wish is for him to finally address his unstable and irrational behavior so he, at some point, can potentially create a relationship with his daughter," says her rep's statement. "Until then, Kim will continue to protect and safeguard her child's well-being as any parent would."

Over the weekend, Basinger hired security "in response to media attention on her daughter in order to allow Ireland to maintain her regular routine and activities uninterrupted," the statement says.

Baldwin attorney Vicki Greene, who took legal action against Basinger yesterday, reiterated her claim that the tape "had to have been released by someone from Kim's side" and disputed that the tape was not under seal.

"We don't agree with Kim's position," says Greene.

"This court has sealed proceedings for Ireland's protection for years. Why would this recording be any different? I'm not even allowed to say whether the tape was played in court or not. The are breaking the confidentiality rules."

This whole thing is just sad. Enjoy your carefree, young romance now, Kristen Dunst and Johnny Borrell. Marriage and divorce are a whole new ball of wax.

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Channeling her inner Pete Doherty (and apparently in need of a lawyer as good as his), actress Kim Basinger may face 60 days in jail and a $12,000 fine when she makes an appearance in court tomorrow on 12 contempt of court charges.

Basinger is accused of breaching a custody agreement she shares with ex-husband Alec Baldwin, who claims she failed to notify him when she was out of town and also failed to inform him when their daughter, Ireland, suffered an injury that required medical attention.

Hilaria Thomas and Alec Baldwin

Baldwin, who has been liked to Saddam Hussein by his former spouse, alleges the actress has a "pathological need" to keep Ireland away from her father, and that "her resentments are more precious to her than the emotional well-being of her child."

Odds are, of course, that Kim Basinger will get a mere slap on the wrist. And as usual, Basinger will continue to be insane and prevent Alec from seeing Ireland.

Now, the Gossip isn't calling the man a saint (he's no Stephen Baldwin) but we're also not calling him a crazed criminal (he's no Daniel Baldwin).

Seriously, the courts are so weak that it makes us wonder what the point of the whole charade is. When it comes to celebrities, the judicial system is seen the way Alec Baldwin thinks of condoms - an unnecessary nuisance.

The best-known Baldwin brother may be a tyrant bastard to fellow actors, but if Kim isn't holding up her end of the parenting bargain, she should be reprimanded. Just like Nicole Richie and operating motor vehicles. You just can't have this stuff going on.

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The Gossip has learned that crazy Kim Basinger was arraigned on contempt charges yesterday. Kim's former husband, Alec Baldwin, triggered the case by alleging that Kim is guilty of a laundry list of violations in their ongoing custody dispute.

Among Baldwin's allegations -- that Basinger blocked his visitation rights, blocked his rights to speak with his daughter on the telephone and failed to notify him when the child suffered an injury.

Possibly Engaged

Basinger pled not guilty through her lawyer, Neal Hersh. The actress did not appear for the arraignment.

The former spouses have been deadlocked in an epic custody battle over 10-year-old Ireland. Baldwin has alleged Basinger is thwarting his ability to parent. Basinger has said right back at you, Saddam Hussein. Er, Alec.

Basinger faces 12 counts of contempt, each of which carries a maximum penalty of $1,000. This is a sad, sad case. Can't we all just get along? Someone call Stephen Baldwin to mediate!

by Free Britney at . Comments

The war of words between Saddam Hussein Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger is heating up some more. Since their divorce in 2002, the stars have been involved in an ongoing custody battle over their daughter, Ireland.

In the October issue of GQ (in which he also made some interesting remarks about Tom Cruise), Baldwin unleashes a barrage of insults aimed at one of Basinger's lawyers, Judy Bogen (pictured, left).

Alec Baldwin on the Red Carpet

Specifically, he calls her a "300-pound homunculus whose face looks like a cross between a bulldog and a clenched fist. She's this hideously angry-looking woman. She'd snarl and hiss."

Basinger's retort: "I am appalled by the statements made by Alec Baldwin in GQ. I am sickened by the fact that somebody can speak this way about another human being. My lawyers, Judy Bogen and Neal Hersh, have done nothing but fight to protect my daughter and me from this vile behavior. After reading this article, everybody will finally see what I've known and experienced for many years."

People, people. Can't we all just get along? If Alec's brother, Stephen Baldwin, were here, he'd say the same thing... along with plenty of other inane things, such as how you will all rot in the fiery pits of hell unless you let him save your soul.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Washed-up movie star Alec Baldwin is currently paying the bills on TV shows embroiled in an acrimonious custody battle over his daughter with ex-wife Kim Basinger.

How bad is this domestic dispute? Basinger once referred to her husband as Saddam Hussein. Ouch! The moniker so upset Baldwin that he didn't want to get out of bed for some time afterwards, according to GQ. Baldwin, 48, was married to Basinger, 52, for many years (some of which were happy) before they separated in 2000. Their daughter, Ireland Eliesse, is 10.

Alec Pic

While no one would ask to be likened to the deposed Iraqi strongman, Alec can take comfort in this fact: At least she didn't call him Osama bin Laden. Or mistake him for his insane-o brother, Stephen Baldwin.

Kim Basinger Biography

Possibly Engaged Kim Basinger used to be married to Alec Baldwin. She also used to actually star in movies. More »
Full Name
Kim Basinger
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