Kourtney & Kim Take Miami

Last week, we saw Kim Kardashian hire a private investigator to tail Scott Disick, a suspect move on so many levels, and one that came to a head last night.

How did he and Kourtney react to her sib's latest subterfuge?

And what bombshell made them forget about it REAL fast?

Find out in our recap of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami!

The P.I. didn't seem to find out much on Scott beyond what we already know - he's a party animal who gets wasted at nightclubs - so what was the point?

Minus 60 for the pointlessness and deception.

Really, the fact that he wears tinted moisturizer was a much more significant reveal, and Kourtney found that out on her own! Plus 20 for her sleuthing.

And Minus 40 for the fact that he wears that.

Continue Reading...

In a storyline not remotely contrived or written by E! producers, Kim Kardashian hired a private investigator to track the movements of Scott Disick on last Sunday's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami.

It's "our call of duty," Kim explained to a skeptical Khloe Kardashian about the decision, in response to Khloe's warning that Kourtey would "literally" kill her siblings if she found out.

Watch the devious exchange now:

Kourtney & Kim Take Miami Clip: Tracking Scott

Continue Reading...

The family that stays together impregnates together.

Could Kourtney Kardashian end up carrying sister Khloe's baby? And how does Kourtney really feel about Scott's partying (not to mention gator killing)?

What atrocious fashion is Kim Kardashian wearing this week?

Find out in our recap of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami!

Kourtney, naturally, is well aware of Khloe's fertility struggles.

She naturally suggests that she be Khloe's surrogate ... since she has no problem getting preg via Scott Disick (or Michael Girgenti for that matter).

Plus 250 for that scandal BTW.

Continue Reading...

This week's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami saw Kim earn her place on a Worst Dressed list, which caused her to worry about her rep and Kanye's.

Meanwhile, Scott wanted new shoes so he naturally decided to hunt a gator.

It's Florida, after all. So come along, y'all, for THG's official +/- KKTM recap!

Ah Kim Kardashian. Even though her fashion is pretty dreadful, watching her break down as she lands on the Worst Dressed list is the most genuine she's ever been.

Reality TV, for once? Plus 70.

Kim worries about how her man will respond, as people will assume fashion-conscious Ye had a role in how she looks. This is pretty stupid logic. Minus 30.

Continue Reading...

This week's episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami really got the competitive juices flowing as the girls threw down in a winner-take-all smell-off.

Seriously. Who comes up with these plots at this point.

Which one of the Kardashian sisters smells worse?

Come along for THG's official +/- KKTM recap!

Because we are apparently fresh out of ideas, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian decided to stage an impromptu Kardashian Olympics of sorts. Plus 20.

The two competed over who could run faster, who could pack better and whose vagina smelled better after a week of drinking pineapple juice.

No, they did not bring Ray J on as a guest judge. Minus 30.

Khloe Kardashian got that illustrious job. She's definitely way better at this than at hosting The X Factor. Plus 20 because we're actually serious.

Continue Reading...

Kourtney Kardashian cried over Scott Disick's comments regarding her baby weight on Sunday's episode of KKTM. But where her tears real or fake?

In this installment of the reality show, which also featured a Kim Kardashian facial using human blood, Scott (or the character Scott plays) hit a new low.

After Kourtney noted that this is the heaviest she's ever been and how hard it is to lose the baby weight ... he let her know that he's not happy about it.

For his sake.

Continue Reading...

This week on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami featured something called a blood facial for Kim, but it wasn't as dirty as it probably sounds. 

Also, Scott ended up almost losing one of his balls … sort of.

Come along for THG's official +/- KKTM recap!

Kim, or the producers who script her every move, have always loved "detective work." That's how she justifies her spying and meddling, anyway. Minus 50.

So you can imagine how excited she is when Larsa's friend Jake, an actual real P.I., comes to the city to work on a pro bono kidnapping case.

Kim Kardashian signs up to help, which is unrealistic in so many ways if they expect us to believe this is a real case, but that's reality TV for you. Minus 350.

Continue Reading...

After a one-week, Oscar-induced hiatus (some things are still bigger than the Kardashians) Kourtney & Kim Take Miami returned with a bang Sunday.

KKTM continued tackling the big, mostly contrived issues in the sisters' lives, as well as Jonathan Cheban, who we last saw getting BELTED by Kourt.

How'd things play out this week? Find out in THG's recap!

Right off the bat, Kim's friend Karen asks - without prompting from the producers WHATSOEVER - if she thinks she'll marry Kanye West someday.

"I do," says Kim, smiling. Groan. Minus 175 for the cheesiness of that scene, and Plus only 25 for the sentiment, because we don't think she's serious.

Continue Reading...

If you thought hornball Scott putting the moves on Khloe was enough faux drama for the week on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, you thought wrong!

KKTM ran it back for a special Monday episode this week, as well! Because who can get enough of them, honestly. Sure as heck not the THG staff.

What contrived nonsense awaited E! viewers this time around? Specifically, why did Jonathan Cheban get slapped by an irate Kardashian sister?

Find out now in THG's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami recap!

During a photo shoot for UK Cosmopolitan, Kim and Khloe discuss filling out the magazine's questionnaire re: what Kim would do if she was a man.

"If I was a man, I would want to know what it's like to have sex with myself," Kim told her sister. "I would just want to know what it would feel like."

Even Kim herself wishes she were Ray J sometimes. Plus 850.

Continue Reading...

If you thought putting the moves on your girlfriend's sister after she just gave birth was out of bounds, you don't know these people - or their scripted show.

Scott Disick and Ryan Seacrest Productions, everybody!

Yes, that was the big storyline of the week, for anyone who chooses to believe it. In reality, Scott Disick is as much of a character as you'll see on any sitcom.

What did he pretend to do Sunday and did it make for good TV?

Come along for THG's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami recap!

Naturally, Scott was upset that post-partum Kourtney isn't up for getting it in. Such is life, but Minus 20 for being even a little surprised at this point.

Enter Khloe Kardashian for scripted entertainment! Plus 20.

Continue Reading...