Jersey Shore Recap: A Leopard Never Sheds its Stripes

by at . Comments

This week on the Jersey Shore, the "family" continued to experience all kinds of ups and downs. Vinny fell for a lesbian, Pauly acquired a new stalker, JWoww fought with Roger, Snooki acted ridiculously and no one could figure Mike out.

Pretty standard stuff, really. We are happy/sad to report that no one threw down!

How did it all play out in Seaside Heights? Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style!

The Duck Phone

The Situation gets the dirt from his brother on his recent date with Deena's sister. Yep, that happened. As if this crew weren't incestuous enough. Minus 12.

"The real Mike is back and I love watching all the $h!t he does." - Pauly, after Mike decides he's going all out to start some $h!t again. Game on, brah. Plus 5.

Mike's plan to CRUSH Snooki by having his boy The Unit tell Jionni all about Sitch and Snook's sexy times failed because Unit was in Miami. Too bad? Plus 11.

Snooki tries to hang out with The Situation. Always a dangerous move. Minus 3.

Vinny juggles two girls at the bar. Good to be back, right? Plus 11.

Deena keeps Vinny's other girl occupied. Wing-meatball! Plus 8.

The more "hotass" of the two is Nicki, who is a lesbian. Vinny tried to get it in anyway, and Plus 7 for the effort, but Minus 14 for delusions. She bounced.

JWoww ducks out early, hella annoyed that Roger was dodging her calls even though he was down the street on the boardwalk. We smell drama. Minus 9.

The next morning, Jenni finally got ahold of Roger, who said he didn't have a phone and that's why he took the day off. Sketchy, and she knows it. Minus 1.

Snooki attempts to master the art of sitting in a hammock. Fail. Minus 5.

Snooki cleans the Smush Room bed. Plus 15 for even attempting that, but Minus 40 for the imagery of some of the things that have probably gone on there.

Good Hiding Spot

Snooki finds a hiding spot on the deck. Very stealthy. Plus 27.

Snooki complains about sunlight and mused that it's always dark in Arkansas. Minus 10 because that's not even true, and Minus 30 because she meant Alaska. Probably.

Vinny' smush with the backup girl was average. Good to know. Minus 5.

"Released some demons, you know."- Vinny. Gross. Minus 13.

Deena and Snooki decide to skip out on their shift at the Shore Store. BOLD move, since it's not actually a real job and the store only "hires" them for PR. Minus 10.

"Danny's such an annoying." - Deena. At least he's not trying to "do sex." Plus 8.

Pauly D has an encounter with his new stalker. Bosnian Grilled Cheese set the bar pretty high, so this girl had better be aware of what an elite club she's in. Plus 4.

Are stalkers required to wear the same thing every day? Plus 3.

Roger told Jen he'd be an hour late for their date, which they canceled, as JWoww ripped him a new one without him having a chance to respond. Minus 8.

No Sammi and Ronnie drama to speak of, at least! Plus 22.

Say WHAT Yo?

In a turn of events, Sitch went out for a drink with Deena and Snooki. Who he wants to ruin ... about half the time. Dude's moods are hard to predict, but Plus 5.

"A leopard never sheds its stripes." - Deena, on Sitch. SO true. Plus 20.

The Situation teases Deena about becoming brother-and sister-in-law, but then gets nervous when Deena's sister calls the house. Plus 9 for the expression above.

Imagine Mike being your brother-in-law, though. Exactly. Minus 5.

Danny tells Deena and Snooki that if they get fired, they'll have to leave the Seaside house. Minus 8 because there is absolutely no way MTV's letting that happen.

Pauly D and Vinny run into JWoww's boyfriend at the gym. Dude's not small. Plus 2. He's also not backing down after the way she acted, he tells them. Plus 3.

JWoww decides to swallow her pride and apologize to Roger. Plus 30. The call (and episode) ended with an ultimatum: "So what's it going to be?" Dun dun dun!

EPISODE TOTAL: +17! SEASON TOTAL: +174!

Jersey Shore ...

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Jwoww-baby-photo

JWoww Debuts Baby Meilani: First Photos!

JWoww debuted the first pics of her new baby today. The former Jersey Shore star couldn't look happier about being a mom.
Jwoww-and-roger-matthews

JWoww Gives Birth to a Girl!

JWoww is a mother. The former Jersey Shore star just gave birth to a daughter.
Snooki-no-makeup-all-baby-bump

Snooki: Makeup Free for #MomLife!

Snooki is showing off her baby bump in this photo. She isn't wearing any makeup in it.
Julianne-hough-naked

Stars in Stars (and Stripes): America the Very Beautiful!

See stars in stars via this photo gallery. And also stars in stripes.

Avatar

good grief the situation srsly makes me sick, from the beginning of the drama, i dont care if snooki went down on him or not, thats their business and if he really was "in love" with her as he claims or to care about her AT ALL he would never be doing this to her since day one. he is a complete douche bag. snooki has every right to be upset with. he's an asshole. he's not a real friend and he only cares about himself.
and its like another season later and snooki is actually being his friend again and he is still on his bullshit trying to get his Fagot friend Unit to come shit all over snooki.. what a fucking loser, he knows he's not bringing any story line to the show so he's trying to pull at any straws he has left, what a LOSERRRR.
he so washed up, no one likes him and Angelina was right, he looks like pop eye on crack. disgusting.

Avatar

I can see why she was mad. When he said he was going to be late I got mad for her! lol Guys just dont understand sometimes. He wants complete trust and I think thats hard for any female to do. Yea he talks a good game but at the end of the day it boils down to this: he doesnt want to answer to her or explain himself and he wants her complete trust in him. I dnt know how long thats going to work. The whole lost my phn for two days is kinda lame.

Avatar

I don't think jwow did anything wrong. When you're in or near your thirties relationships are a big deal. He shouldn't have went out with his buddies until he at least told her that he needed some guy time. They all have cells. She was upset cause she felt like he was putting them first. Obviously they work things out and looks like big ole Rog is gonna beat up on someone

Avatar

First of all i never submitted this comment: ya, they all look old and haggard, especially J-Woww....this is what happens when you drink, drink, party, party, for a living......she looks sooo much older than what she is.....won't watch this crap anylonger.....ugh....

Avatar

This Jenny chic looks like she's 40 years old....ugh.....that's what happens when all you do for a living is party, party, drink, drink, party, drink.....did i mention party, drink????? these 2 deserve each other...this Roger dude is nothing to look at, just like her....she has been acting really desperate lately, as she should....i think all of them are totally gross....the 2 hoe bags meatballs are disgusting......i can't watch any longer, this show is getting me really ill....ugh...................

Avatar

I really hope Jwwow and Roger work things out! I think they are a cute couple. I love watching Jersey Shore no matter what I am doing. I could be standing in line, at school, working at DISH and still be able to stream movies and show. All thanks to TV everywhere I can stream all my channels I get at home, on-the-go. So this makes my life that much easier. I can't wait to watch next week's episode.

Avatar

JERSEY SHORE IS THE SHIT!!!! I'M MOVING TO NY IN A FEW MONTHS I WANT TO GO AN SEE THE SEASIDE HOUSE AND MEET THE CAST!!

Avatar

Jersey Shore Season 5 Episode 6 The Follow Game full episode here http://yep.it/qqmuwe

Avatar

i love jenni but shes gotta give the guy a break at times, does anyone know what he even did that was so bad? at least she called to apologize, hopefully they work it out