The Hills Premieres: A Week in Review

In case you didn't noticed, The Hills premiered on MTV this week.

As loyal celebrity gossip followers, we were stuck covering every article and quote used to hype the show's new season, which included a few nuggets from the Satanic spawn known as Spencer Pratt.

Love the cast or hate the cast, everyone from Spencer to Kristin Cavallari was in the news this week. An aggravating, entertaining summation of their stories is below...

• First, get caught up on the season premiere with our unique plus/minus review of events from it;
• Check out Stephanie, Lo and Audrina walking the streets of L.A. while shooting this (un)reality show;
• Sit slack-jawed as you browse through the insane gobs of money each star brings in;
• Get out a tissue: Stephanie Pratt might soon say goodbye.

• Spencer, meanwhile, is saying no to sex.
• That's the same message Kristin Cavallari sent to John Mayer when he hit on her.
• Pratt thinks Speidi is bigger than the Kardashians and on par with the Obamas.
• The entire cast posed for promotional photos that were as staged as every fight and discussion on the show itself.

While it often pains us, remember: The Hollywood Gossip is the source for The Hills. Come back everyday for the latest coverage on a group of people we love to hate.