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Spencer Pratt Might Cut Off His Nuts, Doesn't Trust Heidi Montag

Finally, Spencer Pratt is echoing the sentiments of his harshest critics: all agree that the publicity-loving son of Satan should not bear any children.

Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, though, this means missing out on intercourse with her husband; because, as Pratt told The New York Post, he doesn't trust his wife.

"I'm not even kidding, but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," Spencer said. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts."

Speidi Power

But, wait, isn't Heidi on birth control? Yes. However, this union is so strong and healthy that Spencer thinks she might stop taking the pill, spread her legs and not tell her man.

"She's not the kind of person who would lie – she would just walk away and not answer the question," Pratt said. "I'm very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently."

How is Spencer coping with the lack of sex? He's spending every waking hour ogling Montag's Playboy cover. Each page of her photo spread is likely very sticky at this point. (Sorry.)

In other news: Pratt also mocked Joel McHale, host of E!'s The Soup, because he always makes fun of Speidi. Spencer referred to McHale as "a struggling wannabe actor just clowning on reality stars," making it clear he's never heard any hilarious Community quotes.

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8 Comments

  1. reality_sucks! Says:

    Saw Heidi Montag (Spencer Pratt) was in the audience of ABC's The View and Whoopi Goldberg, the Moderator/commentator came right out, tactfully of course and mentioned that there's trouble in their 4-month old marriage paradise. She wants to start a family, he isn't interested. There was something else going on too between them but didn't catch it. All I've ever got from them as a couple, courtesy of Spencer Pratt is that he believes he and Heidi are the most IMPORTANT couple, perhaps in the world.
    Spencer, you really do have an supersized, over-sized EGO!

  2. reality_sucks! Says:

    Kim Kardashian, Lauren Conrad, Audrina Partridge, Spencer Pratt, Khloe Kardashian, and may be Tila Tequila...all these 20-somethings, they leave a lot to be desired. I often wonder, when each is alone by themelves, what they're actually thinking than when they're in their peer groups, trying to see and be seen. The public eye is VERY important for all of these people, not Tila Tequila so much. I've never watched the Hills. Reminds me too much of Big Brother and....Survivor. Different age contestants but backstabbing and personality conflicts right from the get-go and sometimes I wonder...where is the emotional maturity??
    These young women/men, they make money for their networks but they're not all as mature as one...Ellen Page. Now there's one cool, educated, young 22-yr old actor. Wonder what she'd think or say about the Hills, etc.

  3. alice Says:

    hmm. i love heidi but maybe not spencer :S

  4. CRAZYB Says:

    I hate heidi and Spencer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go away

  5. Miranda Says:

    I don't like him either. That show I'm celebrity get me out of here they were the worst players I have ever seen...... GO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

  6. Tia Says:

    He doesn't trust her?! Then why did he marry her?! Insanity is taking over..

  7. mannduuh Says:

    these two are so fake it's ridiculous

  8. mannduuh Says:

    i hope they don't procreate please save the world from that

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