Spencer Pratt Might Cut Off His Nuts, Doesn't Trust Heidi Montag

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Finally, Spencer Pratt is echoing the sentiments of his harshest critics: all agree that the publicity-loving son of Satan should not bear any children.

Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, though, this means missing out on intercourse with her husband; because, as Pratt told The New York Post, he doesn't trust his wife.

"I'm not even kidding, but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," Spencer said. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts."

But, wait, isn't Heidi on birth control? Yes. However, this union is so strong and healthy that Spencer thinks she might stop taking the pill, spread her legs and not tell her man.

"She's not the kind of person who would lie – she would just walk away and not answer the question," Pratt said. "I'm very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently."

How is Spencer coping with the lack of sex? He's spending every waking hour ogling Montag's Playboy cover. Each page of her photo spread is likely very sticky at this point. (Sorry.)

In other news: Pratt also mocked Joel McHale, host of E!'s The Soup, because he always makes fun of Speidi. Spencer referred to McHale as "a struggling wannabe actor just clowning on reality stars," making it clear he's never heard any hilarious Community quotes.

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    Comments (9 Total)


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    Spencer doesn't like Heidi in that way. Look at them, they hold hands, never an arm around the shoulders, looking at each other, or hugs or spontaneous kissing. He doesn't like women. He like Brody but Brody moved on and Spence only wanted someone to manage and destroy their self esteem so they at 23 his wife has had 14 plastic surgeries and still is lacking. I love Joel who has more talent in a skin cell than Spense will have his entire life. Which I hope is very brief.

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    i hope they don't procreate please save the world from that

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    these two are so fake it's ridiculous

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    He doesn't trust her?! Then why did he marry her?! Insanity is taking over..

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    I don't like him either. That show I'm celebrity get me out of here they were the worst players I have ever seen...... GO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!