Chain-smoking. Texting. Boozing. More texting.

This is what you do at the club if you are a pimp.

On his last night in Las Vegas, where he had played host to a weekend pool party, America's most eligible bachelor, Jon Gosselin, decided to hit the clubs.

After dinner at Mirage's Stack Monday night, the celebrity gossip mainstay and his crew, which he apparently has, headed to Jet Nightclub around Midnight.

Drinking Skyy Vodka, Jon Gosselin largely ignored several women vying for his attention, focusing on his friends and texting like a madman on his phone.

Gotta get those new apps. He did take his eyes off his mobile device for a moment, however, to dance on the sofa when DJ Class' "I'm The Ish" came on.

Sorry, ladies. Pimp Daddy Jon G. does not have time for you.

At 1 a.m., Gosselin headed to XS Nightclub, where he again stuck to texting, paying little to no attention to the women dancing just a few feet from him.

They must not be up to his mediocre standards.

Switching to Grey Goose vodka, the father of eight went mostly unrecognized while wearing a collared shirt and jeans before leaving the club at 3 a.m.

Gosselin was expected to leave Vegas this morning. He's probably happy to get back to the love of his life, Hailey Glassman, at home on the East Coast.

Oh, right, and his eight small children. Too bad TLC is exploiting them so much, in his estimation. Just wait until they learn what Google is, Jonny boy.