Justin Timberlake to Headline Super Bowl XLII Halftime Show!

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Last week, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary. They posted sweet tributes to each other and reminded the world that they are just an adorable couple.

And it turns out that they -- or Justin, at least -- have more to celebrate than their anniversary.

Because JT is going to be playing the Super Bowl Halftime Show. And the (super cute) announcement video is below!

Justin Timberlake at the Oscars

Justin Timberlake -- the man who was the singing sensation and teen heartthrob named Justin well before Justin Bieber ever uploaded his first YouTube video -- is still a popular man to this day.

While many of his former bandmates haven't been treated as well in their lives or careers as he has, Justin has enjoyed success and fame well beyond his boy band years.

The fact that he's playing the Super Bowl Halftime Show is evidence of that.

Jimmy Fallon's still trying to live down the backlash that he got for ruffling Trump's hair and thereby normalizing him and all that he represented before the American audience.

(The backlash at this point might be a little excessive, since Fallon doesn't deserve all of the blame -- that lies primarily with, well, any voter who helped get Trump elected)

In the video that you'll see below, Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon do goofy British accents in a back-and-forth that segues into the revelation that yes, JT is officially headlining the Halftime Show.

Some don't watch the Halftime Show, while others tune in exclusively for it and ignore the sports game that plays before and after it.

But one way or another, millions of Americans will see it, so it's always a huge deal and a ridiculous spectacle.

Remember, this is where we got Left Shark. This is cause for celebration.

Justin Timberlake at the People's Choice Awards

Or ... is it?

As we mentioned back when Justin Timberlake doing the Halftime Show was but a rumor, this is a little controversial.

We're all very familiar with the term "wardrobe malfunction" these days, but Justin Timberlake is the first person to publicly use the phrase.

He used it to apologize for "accidentally" baring Janet Jackson's breast during the 2004 Superbowl Halftime Show.

And "wardrobe malfunction" has been part of the English lexicon ever since.

Janet, in the mean time, has been basically blacklisted from major networks for the audacity of not using enough layers to hide her nipple, we guess.

(Gotta keep that sinful woman flesh hidden, you know, or children will be scarred for life)

Is it fair for Justin Timberlake to get another bite at the apple while Janet Jackson is still viewed in such a negative light?

Many say that it is not.

Justin Timberlake Onstage at the 2016 iHeartRadio Music Awards

There are other concerns, too, if we're being honest.

Like ... what was Justin Timberlake's last big song?

Wasn't it for that awful movie with those trolls from the early '90s? Or did we just hallucinate that during the liminal space that was 2016?

(We did not dream that into being and the song was titled "Can't Stop The Feeling!")

it does occur to us that, just as the Spice Girls got back together for the London Olympics, maybe Justin Timberlake will arrange for a little NSYNC reunion during the Halftime Show.

(Let us dream!)

Still ... there's a chance that his performance might be less than memorable. That would be a real shame.

Justin Timberlake + The Tennessee Kids' Premiere At Toronto International Film Festival

For our part, though we're maybe a little anxious to see if Justin Timberlake puts on a good show, we know what we're really looking forward to about the Halftime Show:

The inevitable Illuminati analysis by deranged conspiracy theorists afterwards.

Remember, these are people who think that Paris Jackson might be an Illuminati clone or whatever. They can and will believe anything that fits their deeply paranoid worldview.

Each year, you see, these bloggers post their interpretations of the Halftime Show which is, for some reason, a secret ritual performed in plain view for all of the world to see.

(Because the first thing that you want to do as a secret society that controls the world is put up coded messages about it)

The "Illuminati rituals" which are somehow simultaneously Satanist, Pagan, and Freemason, even though those are all different things and always seems to be designed to represent some deeply salacious ritual normally performed behind closed doors, Eyes Wide Shut style.

Obviously, these are just projections of the blogger's own suppressed desires and fantasies, but that doesn't make any of it less weird.

We cannot help but wonder what they'll have to say about Justin Timberlake and whatever he comes up with.

Maybe Janet Jackson will come out and rip off his pants before the cameras, but we somehow doubt that. Alas.

Anyway, here's the announcement video! It's pretty goofy.

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