Perhaps you haven't been keeping up on the post-retirement antics of former baseball semi-great Lenny "Nails" Dykstra.
So allow us to fill you in with the breathless glee of someone bringing you up to speed on the world's most bonkers reality show.
Charlie Sheen has been accused of just about every type of sordid behavior imaginable over the course of his 52 years as a tiger-blood guzzling warlock from Mars.
But before today, the Sheenius had never been publicly accused of taking a human life.
If you're not a fan of baseball or tobacco-chewing ex-cons with tobacco chewing ex-con names, then you might not be familiar with Lenny Dykstra.
We won't bore you with the details of Dykstra's career on the field or the shady shenanigans that later landed him behind bars, but suffice it to say, he's one of the sports world's great dirtbags.
Former baseball star Lenny Dykstra was let out of Victorville Federal Correctional Complex in California on Thursday after just six and a half months.
Former baseball star turned millionaire investor turned white-collar criminal Lenny Dykstra is reportedly being released from a California prison Sunday.
He will walk just 15 months into his three-year term.
Former MLB star and apparent hard ass criminal Lenny Dykstra was given 20 YEARS in prison today ... on top of the three he was already serving.
Dykstra pleaded guilty in federal court to bankruptcy fraud, concealment of assets and money laundering following his unreal arrest late last year.
Disgraced former baseball star Lenny Dykstra on Monday was sentenced to three years in a California state prison after pleading no contest to grand theft auto.
Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Cynthia Ulfig sentenced Dykstra to hard time after refusing to allow the 49-year-old to withdraw his no contest plea.
Already facing a host of felony embezzlement charges, former baseball star Lenny Dykstra has now been charged with indecent exposure, as well.
The allegation? Whipping out his junk for women he met on Craigslist.
Former MLB star Lenny Dykstra was just formally charged with multiple felonies this afternoon. We're talking 23 felony offenses for those keeping score.
The L.A. County D.A. is accusing Dykstra of auto theft, identity theft, filing false financial statements, possession of cocaine and Ecstasy, and so on.
For Len Dykstra, it pays to have friends in high places.
Emphasis on high. Charlie Sheen coughed up $22,500 to bail the former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder out of jail yesterday.
Former baseball all-star Lenny Dykstra was arrested last night after being targeted by federal agents for embezzling more than $400,000 ... from himself.
According to the U.S. Attorney in L.A. ... Lenny arrested by local authorities and later charged with one felony count of embezzling from a bankrupt estate.
